Bad Habits: A Dark Anthology - Yolanda Olson Page 0,116
of the closet where I keep my garments, then retrieve a pair of white, thick and tall, heeled shoes and step into them.
As I make my way back toward the camera, I pick up my package, flip on the live button on the camera and sit down on the floor in front of the screen. I’ll wait patiently until at least one of my customers joins me, then I’ll open the package to show them what we’ll be playing with tonight.
Chapter Two
A number of glances at the screen tells me that I’ve been alone for the last five minutes since I’ve positioned myself in front of the camera. That doesn’t bother me; what does is that I can’t remember what was in this package and I’m eager to unwrap what I’m sure will be a surprise to me as well.
I set it on the floor as I cross my legs underneath me, then lean forward to give the package a sniff. Frozen bones never do smell like much and when hidden under layers of plastic wrapping, are well versed in keeping their secrets hidden.
Grunting, I lean down further, giving the slowly thawing package a poke.
Nothing moves, nothing rattles, nothing to remind me of what’s inside.
Splaying my hands on either side of the well-kept secret, I rest my chin on the floor so I can be eye level with it.
Ding!
My eyes quickly turn up toward the screen and I let out a quick laugh. It seems my audience has been here and watching by the numbers slowly rising in the corner and only now did one want to let me know of their presence.
Most of my customers like to watch and nothing more, but this one happens to be my favorite because he likes to let me know when he’s ready for the show to begin. While I do my best to entertain them all, he’s the one that I work the hardest for.
Wicked little girls do the devil’s work and Satan is here for the show, I think as I make a show of spreading my knees further apart against the hard wooden floor, lifting my ass higher in the air.
A smile creeps across my lips as I turn my head to the right and stare directly into the camera. He’s ready for me and now we’ll get to find out what’s in my package together.
Ding!
He wants to play and he’s done waiting.
I push myself up to my knees and scoot back on my ass, my legs wide apart as I reach forward and grab tonight’s prop.
I use my fingernails to begin picking at the wrapping, hoping that it will give way soon because I can feel myself falling on the inside. The world is becoming less black and white, and grayer with each passing second and I know that soon the show will begin.
Whether I’m ready to start with it or not.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
He’s growing impatient with each passing second but I’m no closer to finding out what’s inside of the package than I was when I initially began picking at the wrapping.
I throw the package against the floor in frustration, get to my feet, and walk over to the camera, turning it off as tears run down my face. There will be no show tonight because I can’t perform without my props and I know this will not sit well with him or anyone else that came on to watch me play.
I’ve failed them tonight and only blood can cleanse me of this sin. I’ll have to leave the walls of my home to find someone—anyone—whose life is as worthless as mine.
We’ll help each other and then the vicious cycle can start all over again.
Chapter Three
The night air is cool but I purposely didn’t bring a jacket. If I’m going to bleed or bleed another for my sin, I have to be as bare as I can.
The only way to ensnare Heaven is to entice Hell and I need the penance as quickly as it can be afforded to me.
Someone will take pity on me—they always do. They’ll see nothing more than a seemingly disheveled, lost young woman, not knowing that the Beast resides deeper in my heart than God ever will.
I’m the beast they all made me into. The world was never good to me. I had been shoved around from home to home when I was younger until I finally landed on the steps at the convent of Our Lady of Heavenly Hope.