her eyes assessing me. I nodded slightly at her, then sat at the chair in front of her desk.
A large calm settled over the space. It was like a cavern of darkness, but just beyond the edge, a simmering of darkness. That was my mind, how it always was inside since I came here to become a part of this unholy place.
I could see her trying to stare a hole through me. It wasn’t going to work. Not now. Maybe when I first got here, but now I had resources, resources I hadn’t had when I first came. She was no longer looking at a meek humble girl.
“You have been very studious in your studies. One would almost say pious – almost.” She said. “My question, though, are you still pure?”
Zoning in on her face, I wanted her to know, I knew. “With all due respect, you know the training I was given in the past six months. My body is unclean, however my hymen remains intact.”
Stiffly she nodded. “That was not my wish.”
“Or your intention to stop it.” I countered.
“Things are not as black and white here. We as women do not have the ability to over rule the men.”
“Really? I, just today, gave rules to both of your priests that you allowed to abuse me. They both listened, as they should.” I sneered.
“Young lady you have a lot to learn. Do not think you can come in here and tell me what is what in my world.” Mother Superior was pissed.
“No ma’am, not at all.” My smile didn’t reach my eyes. “Just letting you know, I am in control of my own body now.”
I held my hand out so she could give me my new rotation. “There is no more humility, no more being the humble little nun you wanted to create.” I laughed watching the anger seep to her face as her eyes narrowed.
“I’m as prideful as they come. Get used to the lipstick. I will be using it daily, along with thigh high stockings to accentuate my obviously very beautiful legs.” And just to add coal to the fire, “I will sin with anyone I want to because I know the lord forgives each and every action I have ever partaken in. Can you say the same?” Standing up, I thrust my chest out, then turned and walked away.
Walking by Father O’Rourke, he merely smiled as I passed by. Who would think that my altruistic behavior of them would turn into my complete control of our situation.
My body had learned to enjoy some of the ministrations. I would be visiting Father O’Rourke quite often I imagined.
Folding the new schedule up, I walked outside. The doors never had been locked to me. It was just an unwritten rule that I wasn’t allowed to step outside until after my training was finished. It’s not like a firing squad would’ve came after me. It just would’ve been frowned upon, and I had been determined to follow all the rules.
Now, breathing in the evening air, my mind was in a dozen different places. A journal. I needed to start writing. I could document my journey from this day forward.
I could keep it in the room by the mirror so it would be safe. I felt special there by the circle anyway. It kept me energized, feeling like I was the only person in the sacred building who actually did adhere to God’s word.
Chapter 10
Sister Purity
The next morning, my first stop is the florals outside. The birds chirping, and the fragrant smell of the flowers, take me away to an Island dream.
Sitting on the bench, I was lost in my own thoughts when I felt a hand circle my arm. Opening my eyes, expecting to see Mother Superior coming to find me because I’d been slacking off on my first day back to the fold, I was shocked to see a mangy looking man holding onto me.
“Can I help you?” I asked, trying to pull my arm free.
“Yes, you can Julia.” He hissed.
I looked at him, he did look familiar. I couldn’t quite pinpoint it though. “Do I know you?”
“You got away. You made me lose a lot of money.” He squeezed my arm tighter. “Poisoning that bitch made me lose a lot of business. Now I’m going to take it out of your ass.”
He was the guy that was with Rita who was taking the girls when they turned eighteen. I was losing feeling in my arm. “I don’t know