pizza place, I ended up driving Elias back to the place he now shared with Cammi. Apparently, he needed some new tires, and he’d dropped his truck off. We were in silence for most of the short drive, but just as I was turning down the road that led to their house, Elias said, “You know, it feels good to move on.”
I slid my gaze sideways, but he was looking forward. “What do you mean?”
“Cynicism is cold comfort in the long run,” he offered cryptically. “How are things with you and Nora?”
I let out a sigh. “Not great. She finally spoke to me for the first time in months when I went to pick her up the other day.”
Elias chuckled. “Ah. So it was worth asking me to rearrange my whole schedule.”
I laughed, although I felt a little hollow, and my heart ached. “I suppose. I need to do more than get her talking.”
“If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t be angry,” he replied.
I pondered that as I drove out to the resort in the darkness. The stars appeared close enough for me to reach up and grab them, and the moonlight glittered on the water.
The following morning, my phone rang just as I was walking into my bedroom from the shower. I yanked on a pair of sweatpants and rubbed a towel over my chest as I crossed over to glance down at my phone where it sat on my dresser.
I was going to ignore the call, but then it began ringing again. Lifting it, I slid my thumb across the screen. “Hey, Mom.”
“Gabriel!” she exclaimed, sounding surprised that I answered. As if she hadn’t just dialed my number twice in a row.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“Tell me how you’re doing,” my mom said brightly.
“I’m fine, Mom. How are you?”
I looped the towel around the bedpost and crossed over to stare out the window.
“I’m okay,” she said slowly before pausing.
I sensed she didn’t know what else to say. My mom and I weren’t close. The only way to describe what she’d done when I was a kid was abandonment. She left our dad to take care of us and bounced in and out of our lives periodically when she needed something.
I used to resent her, but I realized it was eating me up, so I’d made peace with my resignation for what she was to me. She usually called when she needed money, and I usually gave it to her.
I waited. I wasn’t going to fill the silence for her.
“I’m looking into buying a house,” she finally said, “but I could use a little more rent money until then.”
“How much do you need?”
I ignored the disappointment that settled like a thin, worn blanket over my shoulders. I was resigned to this, but it didn’t mean I liked it.
“Well, my rent’s a thousand bucks a month. I hope you don’t think I called you just for money.”
I rolled my eyes, marveling at how well-defended she was. My mother’s denial was a force of its own. She could ask me for money every time she called and still try to insist that wasn’t why she called. I focused on the view outside my windows. The sun was rising, casting a shimmery golden glow over the dark mountains and jagged peaks. We already had termination dust, the first fresh snow that fell on the mountains. I wondered when it would snow at our elevation.
“It’s no problem, Mom,” I replied. “Same account?”
“Yes.”
She paused, and I could practically imagine her wherever she was sitting. Her legs were usually crossed with one foot bouncing restlessly. Her fingers were either holding a cigarette as she smoked nervously or toying with whatever she could get her hands on.
“Have you heard from Aubrey?” she asked, her question falling like a sharp edge into the silence that spun out between us.
“We text every other week or so. She’s gonna try to get up here one summer.”
“Oh, okay.” My mother’s voice was hesitant, and I knew she didn’t know what to say. My sister refused to talk to her.
“I’ll make sure that money is wired over by tomorrow. I need to run because I have some flights scheduled for this morning.”
“Okay. Talk to you soon. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Mom. Take care.”
The line clicked in my ear when she hung up. I lowered my phone slowly, setting it on the windowsill. I rested my hands there and stared out. Dew was glittering on the dead grass and flowers. Autumn was passing quickly, and