released her, she gasped for air. Her gaze settled intently on his for a long moment. “Good night, Edmund.”
“Good night, Genie.”
She turned and he followed her, opening the door, then closing it after watching her walk away. He nearly went after her and begged her to come back. No, he wanted to beg her to reconsider what she wanted. Was there any way she might want him? Not just for now, but forever?
He couldn’t see it, not if she wanted to mother children. He had none, and apparently, she couldn’t have any.
It was a very long time before he slept.
At breakfast the following morning, Lord Cosford had announced they would ride in the afternoon if the weather continued to remain dry. This had generated a sense of excitement. Now, as most had gathered in the drawing room following breakfast, there was a fraught energy, as if everyone couldn’t wait to get out.
Or perhaps that was simply Genie’s inner agitation. She’d barely slept after visiting Edmund the night before.
Her gaze found him across the room. She’d keep a surreptitious eye on him all day, and it seemed he’d done the same. Any time their eyes met, she looked away. Did he do the same? And were they going to avoid each other for the rest of the party? Tomorrow would be the last full day, so she supposed it was possible.
It was also probably for the best. Then why did she feel sad?
She went to pluck a biscuit from a plate on a table in the corner. There was never a shortage of food or drink at Blickton.
“Good choice. Those are my favorite.” Edmund’s voice sent a quiver of delight up her spine.
Genie turned to face him as he picked up one of the biscuits. “Mine too. But then I like lavender anything. And lemon.” The biscuit combined both flavors.
Seeing him this close made Genie’s chest swell and then abruptly tighten. While she would cherish last night, she couldn’t help thinking it would be best if it hadn’t happened.
“I wanted to apologize,” she said softly.
His dark brows gathered on his wide forehead. “For what?”
“For last night. I should not have come to your room. It was ill conceived of me.”
His features relaxed, and one side of his mouth briefly quirked up. “I thought it was rather brilliant,” he murmured.
She fought a blush, taking a deep breath. “We should have discussed things beforehand. I didn’t mean to lead you…” Lead him where? “Anywhere. I didn’t think at all.” Not of him. She’d thought of her desires, her apprehension, only her. “I behaved selfishly.”
“My body would beg to differ,” he said wryly.
While she appreciated his sense of humor, she wasn’t sure it was appropriate here. Not when she was trying to apologize for what had amounted to an unforgettable night. “Yes, it was pleasant. However, you must see the truth—you need an heir. I can’t give you one.”
“My cousin, though now gone, had a son. He’s still very young, but he will inherit if I don’t have children. I don’t know him—or his mother—at all. However, regardless of whether I have an heir, it seems you would prefer a husband who already has children.”
Her chest pinched. “I don’t even know if I want to wed.”
“It’s a conundrum.” His tone was quiet and perhaps sad. “I do understand. Nothing, however, changes how much I enjoyed last night. Or how much I’d like to do it again.”
Her gaze shot to his. “Please don’t say that.” Because she wanted it too. Yet, there was no point to it, except to cause heartache.
“Why? Is it wrong to seek pleasure? To want to enjoy ourselves together?”
Before she could answer, they were joined by Lord Rotherham. Tall, with blond hair and brilliant green eyes, the earl asked which biscuit he should choose.
Edmund pointed to their shared favorite. “This one. Unless you’d rather try something less delicious in case you end up liking it too much.” He shot her a testy stare before taking himself away from the table and leaving her alone with Rotherham.
Realizing she was frowning after him, she blinked and smoothed her expression before turning her attention to the attractive earl. He flashed her his almost ever-present wicked smile before he nibbled at the biscuit.
“Oh, that is good,” he said around the bite in his mouth. He swallowed. “I adore lemon. So tart and sweet at once. I believe Howell says that’s what he looks for in a lady.”
“And what do you look for?” Genie asked, purposely