know if I’m ready for a kid, Sami,” I admit the worst part of this. The part I’m ashamed of.
“Listen to me, no one is ready. You think I was ready when Matt’s dad and brother were dying and he wasn’t speaking to me?” she slurs slightly. “‘Cause I wasn’t. But you were there. And you saved me. So now you go and you save her too.” She points at the ocean as if Jenny’s the Little Mermaid. “Because I know what it’s like to have you on my side, Lori. It’s everything. And with you there, I knew I’d be okay.”
I don’t say anything. Her words are too big for how drunk she is, but they hit with full effect.
She reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Gross, why are your hands so sweaty?” She wipes them on my pants. “I’m gonna go dance more. If you’re still here when I get back, you’re dead.” She struggles out of the chair and staggers down the beach to the party.
Her words mix with Bev’s and Matt’s and start to create a picture in my head.
A terrible realization hammers at me. Since I saw the pregnancy test, I’ve felt like the victim of this. But the truth is we all learned how it works in grade school. Sex leads to kids. We did this. I’m no victim. And I’m also not a coward. But I left the girl I love alone and accused her of trying to trick me. Jesus, she must hate me. She’ll never forgive me for this. And I’ve realized I need her too. I need to buck up and pretend I’m completely fine with this baby, be strong for her. The same way I was with Sami.
I jump from the chair and sprint for the limo, not waiting for the drivers. I take one with keys in it, not even sure it’s one of mine, and race home the short distance along the winding road to the house.
I park at the door and burst inside before Sorel can get it for me.
“Jenny!” I shout as I take the stairs two at a time but the bedroom is empty. Her things are gone.
My fingers are shaking as I press her contact to call. It goes directly to messages.
“Fuck!” I turn and run back down the stairs. “Sorel!”
“Sir?” He meets me in the foyer.
“Where is she?”
“She and Miss Sukii left before the wedding. She seemed rather distressed and they were quite adamant they needed to get to the airport. Leslie dropped them off and said Miss Snowdon’s brother was able to secure them flights off the island. That was six hours ago.”
“Come on.” I sigh heavily and contemplate how to fix this. “Have the jet readied. I’m leaving for New York tonight, and if anyone asks I’ll be back mid-morning for brunch with everyone.”
“Very good, sir.” He nods and vanishes as I rush out to the limo and drive myself to the airport with a desperate ache trying to slow me down.
17
Not my pee stick
Sunday, July 30
Jenny
Finding the email from the moving company informing me of the delay in moving my shit is the highlight of my night.
My apartment in Woodlawn is so hot I can barely stand it but at least my stuff is still there. I’m lying on my unmade bed in underwear and a tee shirt and sweating. I don’t know if it’s anxiety sweat or normal but it’s making me crazy.
Seeing the four am on the phone, I wince. I haven’t slept yet. His face haunts me; I can’t stop thinking about him or his deadened stare when he asked if I was trying to trick him. It sickens me and yet I keep tormenting myself with the image.
A sound interrupts my piteous thoughts, it sounds like footsteps in the hall. They’re followed by a knock which is close enough I worry it’s my door.
It happens again.
Relief floods me, it has to be Josh. He said he was coming right away, but I didn’t expect him to fly in the middle of the night.
I jump up and hurry to the door, through the sea of boxes, opening it, but the sight before me hits me hard enough I stumble back.
“Jenny!” Lori rushes inside and closes the door. His eyes lower to my stomach. “You left before we could talk.”
“I didn’t have anything to say after you accused me of being the kind of girl who tricks rich guys into being a baby daddy.” It’s petty considering