cracking. The cold shell that kept me sane was beginning to break, and I had no idea what to do about it. “We should retire.”
She just nodded, her eyes wide and her lips slightly parted. It took everything I had not to pull her into my arms again, but I couldn’t. It was just too dangerous. I lost myself when I touched her like that.
I strode past her, toward the door. “Follow me.”
“I’m not sleeping in your chambers.”
“Yes, you are.”
There was silence for a moment, and I could feel her frustration. I turned around. “Are you coming?”
She glared at me.
“Fine.” I returned to her and swept her up, resisting throwing her over my shoulder. She wouldn’t like that.
Instead, I cradled her against my chest, and she glared up at me. “This is weird, you know,” she muttered.
“I’m not familiar with the concept.”
A few moments later, we were in my quarters. I strode through the main living area into the bedroom and tossed her on the bed. She looked up at me, and for the briefest moment, I imagined myself climbing into the bed with her, touching and kissing her.
Heart thundering, I spun around and strode from the room, heading for the couch.
“This is still weird, you know,” she shouted.
I didn’t turn back as I said, “I will see you in the morning.”
Despite the fact that I hadn’t shouted, she’d heard me, and her voice drifted out from the bedroom. “Fine.”
I pulled off my boots and threw myself onto the couch, not bothering to remove my clothing. It was impossible to banish her from my thoughts as I lay down, impossible not to toss and turn throughout the night.
I could think only of her, and finally, it became too much.
The tension was building to a breaking point, my confusion and frustration putting me on edge. Worse, the light was threatening. I could feel it rising within me, bringing conflicting feelings of guilt and confusion.
Was my purpose worthy? Were my goals the right ones?
I surged upright, horrified by the thought.
I didn’t question my purpose. It wasn’t how I’d been made.
Unsettled, I yanked on my boots and left my quarters.
I saw no one as I strode through the castle and headed down the stairs to the pit at the farthest depths. It beckoned me, the darkness soothing as I stepped up to the edge and looked into the abyss. The mist rose up and soaked into me, suppressing the light, bringing relief.
I heaved a sigh, clenching my fists as I tried to get control of myself.
You are conflicted.
“I am not,” I said. “I was made for this.”
You were. And you will succeed.
I nodded, satisfied.
She will be ready soon. Take her to the Place of Memories. Learn the location of doomsday and fulfill your destiny.
The words filled me with purpose, and I breathed deeply, wanting to be satisfied. Wanting to feel whole and committed again.
But I didn’t. Not entirely.
Under normal circumstances, a visit to the abyss might be enough. Not this time. Though I stared into it, I didn’t feel completely normal. Almost as if Seraphia were changing my very makeup.
The idea was terrifying.
I turned from the pit and headed for the door that opened to the sea. Though the castle itself was situated on a cliff overlooking the water, the chamber at the base of the building was closer to sea level. A small door at the back led directly out to the ocean.
At the door, I shucked off my clothes, retaining only the dark shorts I wore underneath. I reached for the door and pulled it open, the iron hinges shrieking, having long ago gone rusty from the salt air. Outside, the sea roared. The door was set into the side of the cliff, and the waves were pitch black as they crashed against the stone wall below me.
I dove off, letting the coldness envelop me.
Physical exertion to the point of near-death was the closest thing I could get to an escape. I welcomed it, cutting through the salty water, letting the waves wash over my skin.
Soon, my mind calmed, and my body turned to the task of moving ever onward.
12
Seraphia
It was dark when I woke, the room strangely empty. I was still in Hades’ bed, but he was gone. Not that he’d ever been in the bed, but I was certain he was no longer on the couch.
“Hades?” I called, just to check.
No answer.
But it was the middle of the night. Where the hell had he gone?
I climbed out of bed,