me, his hands on either side of my face, his big palms engulfing my cheeks.
He tipped my head back so I could look at him, but he said nothing. Neither did I. This moment was very profound, very healing.
I felt it down to my bones.
It was like that wound I had for so long was finally closing, was finally getting better. And so I did something I never thought I’d ever do in my life.
I did something that took a lot of courage.
I did something I was proud of myself for.
I rose up on my toes and kissed him.
Chapter Nine
Lenora
The kissed started off slow, tentative, but as the seconds moved by, I felt something in Beckham shift, snap.
He was the one kissing me now.
His motions were feverish, like an animal had been unleashed inside him. I felt my arousal grow, my excitement climb. I couldn’t breathe, could only feel him.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured but still kissed me. “I should go slow,” he whispered against my mouth, but I pressed my body harder against his.
I’d never done anything like this with a man, nothing remotely sexual. I focused on school, work. I focused on making sure I could have a good life. Boys hadn’t been in that equation at a young age.
But when I felt desire and arousal, the only person who had ever come into my thoughts was the man currently kissing me.
“Don’t stop,” I whispered back.
“Never.” He groaned out that lone word.
I felt how hard he was as he moved closer, his erection digging against my belly. I might be a virgin, but I wasn’t a prude. I knew what happened during sex, on how these things progressed. I went to a public school, heard the way guys spoke about it, saw movies. But I was still so nervous.
I felt him grind himself against my stomach over and over again, and I found myself moaning into his mouth. He swallowed the sound greedily.
“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he said in a breathless tone. “So long.”
And as I stared into his face, this little part of me cried out with joy.
“I love you, Beckham.”
He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on mine. For long seconds, neither of us said anything. Then he pulled me close and just held me.
“You have no idea what it does to me to know you love me too, that you don’t hate me. That you can forgive me.”
I closed my eyes and just breathed in and out. “I do forgive you.” And I did. This intense heat filled me. I grew wet between my legs, my entire body lighting up for Beckham. He ran a hand over my back, up and down, slow and easy. But that gentle touch did something wicked to me, had me wanting things I’d only ever dreamed of before, not with anyone but Beckham.
I knew where this was headed, and I wasn’t going to try to rationalize that this might ruin what we were trying to build and accomplish with moving past the… well, the past. I wouldn’t allow myself to be afraid of the “what ifs” anymore.
This felt right, so I was going to jump in head first and see if I landed whole on the other side.
“I love you, Beckham,” I said again and heard him groan.
“Lenora. God. I feel like I’ve hit the jackpot, not just with your forgiveness, but because of everything else. The way you look at me… your love.”
I pulled back and looked into his face. I saw the way he looked at my mouth, could feel his need for me. It was as potent as mine for him.
“It’s always been you for me, Lenora, even if I never said it, even if you never knew.”
My breath caught at his words.
“There was never a moment where my love for you was questioned. Not even when I was a total jackass and said those fucking awful things. Never, baby. Never.” He stroked my cheek with his thumb. “You’re the only one I love, the only one I’ll ever love.” When he lifted his gaze to my eyes, my heart jumped into my throat. “Hell, Lenora, I’ve never even been with a woman, because I only wanted you.”
I didn’t know what to say in that moment, didn’t know how to react.
Beckham was a virgin? Like me? How was that even possible? How could a man so attractive, so sexually potent, be innocent like I was? God, it didn’t seem real, because his reasoning for