"Beauty, you must learn it. You must accept and yield, and then you shall see everything is simple."
"I would not be here with you if I yielded because the Prince..."
"Yes, you could be here with me. I adore my Queen and I am here with you. I love you both. I yield to that entirely as well as everything else and even the knowledge I may be punished. And when I am punished, I shall dread it, and suffer it and understand it and accept it. Beauty, when you accept it you will flower in the pain, you will flower in your suffering."
"There was a girl ahead of me in line last night who ran the Bridle Path just before me. She was resigned, wasn't she?" Beauty asked.
"No, forget about her, she is nothing, that is Princess Claire and she is silly and playful and always was and feels nothing. She has no depth, no great mystery. But you have these and you will always suffer more than she does."
"But does everyone sooner or later acquire this ability to accept?"
"No, some never do, but it is very hard to tell who has attained it. I can tell, but our masters are not always so wise, I can assure you. For example, Felix told me yesterday you saw Princess Lizetta strung up in the Hall of Punishments. Do you think she is resigned?"
"Certainly not!"
"Ah, but she is, and she is a great and valuable slave Princess. But Princess Lizetta adores being bound up, being unable to move, and when she is greatly bored, she endures the displeasure of her betters, the better to amuse them by letting them punish her."
"Ah, no, you can't be serious."
"Yes, I can. That is her way. All slaves have their way. And you must find yours. It will never be easy for you. You will suffer much before you know it, but don't you see that on the Bridle Path and tonight when you gave the rose to Lady Juliana you felt the beginnings of it. Princess Lizetta is a struggler. You shall be a yielder, much as I am. That shall be your way, exquisite and personal devotion. Great calm, great serenity. In time perhaps you will see other slaves who are exemplary in this. Prince Tristan, for example, the slave of Lord Stefan, is incomparable. His Lord is in love with him as the Prince is with you, which makes it both difficult and simple."
Beauty gave a deep sigh. She was flooded suddenly with the sensation of kneeling before Lady Juliana and offering her the rose. She felt herself running on the Bridle Path, and the breeze touching her, and her body burning all over with her striving.
"I don't know, I feel ashamed when I give in, I feel as if I have truly lost myself."
"Yes, that is it. But listen. We have the night here together. I want to tell you the story of how I came here and how I attained the path I speak of. When I am finished, if you still feel rebellious, I ask you to think on it. I shall go on loving you, no matter, and go on striving for moments to see you in secret. But if you listen to me, you shall see that you can conquer everything about you.
"Don't try to understand all that I say at once. Merely listen and see if the story in the end does not soothe you. Remember, you cannot possibly escape this place. No matter what you do the Court will find ways to wring amusement from you. Even a wild, teeth-gnashing slave can be bound and used in an abundance of different ways to amuse everyone. So accept this limit; and then try to understand your own limits and how you must broaden them."
"O, if I know you love me I can accept, I can accept anything."
"I do love you. But the Prince loves you, too. And even so, you must seek your path of acceptance."
He embraced her, then gently forcing his tongue between her lips, kissed her violently.
He suckled her br**sts until they were almost sore, as she arched her back moaning again, her passion rising. He lifted her under him and once again he drove his organ into her, turning her gently so they lay on their sides facing one another.
"They shan't rouse me tomorrow for anything and for that alone I'll be punished." He smiled. "But I do not care. It's worth it, to have you, to hold you, and to be with you."
"But I can't bear to think of you punished."
"Be comforted that I shall deserve it, and the Queen must be satisfied, and I belong to her, just as you belong to her and you belong to the Prince, and should he catch you he would have every right to punish me further."
"But how can I belong to him and to you?"
"As easily as you might belong as well to the Queen and Lady Juliana. Did you not give Lady Juliana the rose? I wager that before the month is out, you will be mad to please Lady Juliana. You will dread her displeasure; you will hunger for her paddling just as you fear it."
Beauty turned her face away and buried it in the straw because it was already true. Tonight she had been glad to see Lady Juliana. And this was the way she felt about her Prince.
"Now, listen to my story and you will understand more. It is not a neat explanation. But you will see something of a mystery unfolded."
Chapter 18
PRINCE ALEXI TELLS OF HIS CAPTURE AND ENSLAVEMENT
WHEN IT came time to send Tributes to the Queen," Prince Alexi said, "I was not at all resigned to be chosen. There were other Princes who were brought forward to go with me, and we were told that our service with the Queen would last no more than five years at most, and that we would return greatly enhanced in wisdom, patience, self-control, and all virtues. Of course I had known others who had served, and though they are forbidden to speak of what happens, I knew it was an ordeal and I cherished my freedom. So when my father told me I must go, I ran away from the castle and went roaming through the villages.
"I don't know how my father received this news. It was a party of the Queen's soldiers who raided the village where I was and carried me off with a number of common boys and girls for other forms of service. These were given to minor Lords and Ladies to serve in their own manor houses. Princes and Princesses such as we serve only at the Court, as I'm sure you realize.