"You are incomparable in all things," he said. "Don't let your cruel masters and mistresses deceive you. They are in love with you."
"Ah, but how should we be punished?" she asked. "Would it be the village?" She dropped her voice as she said it.
"And who has told you about the village?" he asked, a little surprised. "It could be the village..." he was thinking... "but no favorite of the Queen of the Crown Prince has ever been cast out into the village. But we won't be caught, and if we are I shall say I gagged you, forced you. You should suffer at most a few days in the Hall of Punishments, and what happens to me does not matter. And you must swear to me you will let me take all the blame, or I shall gag you, and carry you back and chain you up immediately."
Beauty bowed her head.
"I brought you here. I shall be punished if we're caught. That must be a rule between us. No arguments from you."
"Yes, my Prince," she whispered.
"No, don't say this to me," he pleaded. "I had not meant to command you. I'm Alexi to you, and nothing more than that, and I am sorry if I was harsh, only I cannot lead you into terrible punishment. Do as I ask because...because..."
"Because I adore you, Alexi," she said.
"Ah, Beauty, you are my love, my love," he answered. He kissed her again. "Now you must tell me, what are your thoughts, why do you suffer so?"
"Why do I suffer? But don't you see it with your own eyes? Did I forget for one moment that you were watching me tonight? You see what was done to me, what is done to you, what is..."
"Of course I watched you and was glad of the pleasure of it," he said. "Did you not enjoy seeing me paddled by the Crown Prince and did you not enjoy seeing me punished in the Great Hall when you were first brought in? What would you do if I told you I spilt the wine that first day so that you would notice me?"
She was stunned.
"I ask you why you suffer. I don't mean what you suffer from the paddle, or the relentless games of our Lords and Ladies. I mean what do you suffer in your heart? Why are you in such conflict? What prevents you from yielding?"
"Have you yielded?" she demanded, slightly angry.
"Of course," he said easily. "I adore the Queen and I adore pleasing her. I adore all those who torment me, because I must. It is profoundly simple."
"And you feel no pain, no humiliation?"
"I feel much pain and much humiliation. And that will never stop. If it did, even for a little while, our endlessly clever masters and mistresses would think of some new way to make us feel it. Do you think I was not humiliated in the Great Hall to be upended by Felix and spanked before an entire Court, and so casually, and for so little? I am a powerful Prince, my father is a powerful King. I never forget it. And surely it was painful to be so roughly treated by the Crown Prince for your benefit. And he thought it would make you love me less!"
"He was wrong, so wrong!" Beauty said, but she sat up and put her hands to the sides of her head in consternation. She loved them both that was the misery of it, the Crown Prince whom even now she could envision with his lean white face and those immaculate hands and those dark eyes so full of turbulence and dissatisfaction. It had been an agony to her that he had not taken her to his bed after the Bridle Path.
"I want to help you because I love you," Alexi said. "I want to guide you. You are in rebellion."
"Yes, but not always," she admitted in a vague whisper, looking off, as if she were suddenly ashamed to admit it. "I have...so many feelings."
"Tell me," he said with authority.
"Well, tonight...the rose, the last little pink but...whey did I pick it up in my teeth and offer it to Lady Juliana? Why? She had been so cruel to me."
"You wanted to please her. She is your mistress. You are a slave. The highest thing that you can do is please, so you sought to do it, and not only in response to her paddling and her commands, but in that moment of your own will."
"Ah, yes," said Beauty, that was it. "And...on the Bridle Path, how can I confess it, I felt some release in myself as if I were no longer locked in struggle, I was just a slave, a poor, desperate slave who must strive, strive purely."
"You are eloquent," he said with feeling. "You know much already."
"But I don't want to feel this. I want to rebel in my heart, I want to steel myself against them. They torment me endlessly. My Prince, were he the only one..."
"But even if he were, he would find new ways to torment you, and he is not the only one. But tell me why you don't wish to give in to them."
"Well, surely you know. Didn't you rebel? Don't you? Why, Leon said of you there is a core in you which no one touches."
"Nonsense. I merely know and accept everything. There is no resistance."
"But how can it be?"