Always Enough (Meet Me in Montana #2) - Kelly Elliott Page 0,57

was unfocused as shit and hadn’t given a second thought to food.

“Um, I’ll take, ah . . . um . . .”

I glanced up to see both of them watching me. The corner of Brock’s mouth twitched with a smirk he was at least attempting to hold back.

“I’ll have the same thing as Brock,” I finally said.

“Sounds good. Both well done, right?”

We both replied yes together. Once Kristin was gone, I let out a breath, shook my head, and closed my eyes for a moment before speaking.

“There’s a side of me, Brock, that is scared shitless to let myself even think I could be happy. With anything or anyone. If I let someone in, the darkness will eventually swallow up any happiness I feel, and I’m going to end up right where I was that morning after the accident. Lost, confused, hurt. Angry. Kaylee’s had enough heavy bullshit in her life—she doesn’t need mine.”

“So you’re going to make that decision for her? You ever think maybe she’s the one person who is capable of making you happy? That she can make that decision on her own because of the heavy shit she’s already been through?”

My gaze met his. “That’s the problem, Brock. Something about Kaylee Holden gets to me. In a good way . . . a damn good way. The first time we ever kissed, I knew she would become my new addiction if I let her. And I can’t let her. I fought this battle for almost a year, and one move on her part and I was practically on my knees with need for her. I can’t . . . I can’t do it.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t lose her. If I did, it would destroy me.”

He let out a half-hearted laugh. “What makes you think you’ll lose her? How is that any different than what you’re doing to yourself, and to her, right now? And maybe it was just an itch y’all needed to scratch? You ever think of that?”

It was my turn to laugh. “Nah, that wasn’t no itch. I’ve never in my life felt that way with a woman. I didn’t want to leave her bed, Brock. I did and said things to her I’ve never done or voiced to any other woman. I thought I couldn’t get her out of my mind before, and now, after being with her? Hell, I’m never going to be able to forget the way she felt in my arms. But it will end badly, because I’m not the guy she needs.”

“And why do you think that?” he asked.

I stared at him like he was an idiot. “She’s already had a guy who was messed up in the head. He hurt her and left her devastated. I won’t be the one to do that to her again.”

He sighed. “Damn it, Ty, why do you think you’re going to hurt her?”

“I’m not going to ask Kaylee to fix something that’s broken. It’s me. I’m the one who’s broken. I won’t do that to her. She deserves more.”

“What if you ain’t broken, Ty? You just need someone to help you heal? I thought the same thing with Lincoln. She changed my entire life. She healed what was hurting. You’ve got to take the risk, Ty.”

I shook my head. “I can’t. This morning when I woke up next to her, I had the strangest feeling in my chest, something I have never experienced before, and Kaylee was the cause of it. She makes me want something I’m not ready for. Hell, I don’t know if I will ever be ready for it, truth be told.”

“You won’t ever be able to move on if you don’t learn to take the risk, to open up your heart and let something good in,” Brock said—and fuck me if I didn’t consider buying what he was selling.

Anger ripped through me because I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to take the jump. I was scared; I was so fucking scared of being hurt again. Of hurting Kaylee.

Brock sighed and shook his head. “So explain something to me. Why did you not wear a condom?”

My heart dropped in my chest, and we stared at each other. There was no way I could tell him the truth. Judging by the way he was looking at me, though, he already knew the answer to that question.

“Holy fuck, Ty. You can’t give yourself to Kaylee . . . so were you hoping to