They drove to his house in silence as she wondered what he was thinking. She’d find out soon enough.
When he pulled into the driveway, she expected him to leave the truck running, but he shut it off.
“Aren’t you going to the farm?”
“I’ll go later to feed the horses.” He got out of the truck, so she did the same and followed him inside, trying to gauge his mood. He’d been out of sorts all day, and it was revealing to see a whole new side of him. The second the door closed behind her, he turned to her, hands on hips, expression unreadable. “I want to hear about your concerns.”
“It’s nothing terrible.”
“I still want to know.”
“I’m concerned,” she said, “that you may get tired of being with just me after a while. You’re used to more… variety, shall we say, and I—”
“I’ll never get tired of being with you. What else are you concerned about?”
“That you think it’ll be enough to be with just me—”
“I know it will be. What else?”
“How do you know that, Landon? You’ve never done an actual relationship in your entire life.”
“And you have?”
“No, but—”
“How do you know that I’ll be enough for you?”
“You will be—”
“But how do you know that for sure?”
“I just do.”
“I just do, too. I love you, Amanda. I’m in love with you. I want to be with you all the time. This isn’t a fling or a passing phase or whatever else you want to call it. This is it for me. You’re it for me. I don’t want anyone else. Do you have any other concerns?”
Her brain raced to catch up to what he’d said as her heart beat double time. “Ah, no. No more concerns.”
He took a few steps to close the distance between them and put his hands on her hips. “Are you sure?”
She looked up at him and nodded.
“You don’t have anything to worry about where I’m concerned. I promise.”
Amanda flattened her hands on his chest and looked up at him, wondering what she’d ever done to be so lucky to have a man like him love her. “That might be the best gift anyone has ever given me.”
“You’re the only one I want, the only one I’ll ever want.”
“You’re so certain of that. How can you know for sure?”
He took a second to think about that. “Remember when you got Kelly’s letter and you never hesitated about taking Stella?”
She nodded.
“That’s how I feel about you. Yes. Just yes. Hell to the yes. Yes, yes, yes to all things Amanda.” With his hands on her face, he kissed her. “Please tell me you believe me.”
“I do. That’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me.”
“All I want is more of this, more of you, any way I can get it. Don’t doubt for one second that I’m all in with you—and with Stella when the time comes.”
“Thank you, Landon. That means everything to me. You’ve been my rock through all of this, and I’ll never forget the way you took me in after the fire, let me cry all over you for days and propped me up after I got the letter about Stella.”
“Every minute I get to spend with you is the best minute I’ve ever spent with anyone.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Heaven grant us patience with a man in love.”
—Rudyard Kipling
On the way to work a few hours later, Landon told himself it didn’t matter that he was the only one who’d said he was in love and all in with their relationship. She’d expressed gratitude for what he’d done for her, but she hadn’t told him she loved him, too, even though he was fairly certain she did.
Why hadn’t she said it? And what did it mean that he’d said it and she hadn’t? He had no idea, and the not knowing was going to kill him during a twelve-hour shift away from her. After this, he would be off work for four days. He hoped the trip to Boston, the wedding and four days together would give her the time she needed to catch up to him.
The thing about being all in, he was finding, was that it became absolutely critical for the person you were all in with to be there with you. What if she wasn’t? What if her feelings for him were wrapped up in appreciation for what he’d done for her after the fire and weren’t about love or forever at all?
That thought sent him into a tailspin. Wouldn’t that