thought of everything to make sure the kids stayed healthy and happy.
After the Ropers left with Carson and Joy, Nick had come down to the cottage to see Riggs. He’d had the inch-thick stack of adoption papers with him. Nick hadn’t said anything about it. He just dropped the stack in front of Riggs like some sort of proof of Victor’s continued presence in their lives before he flopped onto the couch and asked if Riggs had any beer in the fridge.
They’d passed a few hours doing little more than drinking beer and watching some football game on television that neither of them gave a crap about. It was white noise for both of them, and they’d needed it to disguise the depth of emotions weighing them both down. They hadn’t really solved the world’s problems, but Riggs hadn’t felt any worse either. He counted it as a win.
Now, though, they had their next hurdle to jump. This one would make Riggs feel worse. He rubbed his hand over his heart, where another gaping hole waited to be formed.
The red panda alpha was set to arrive within a few hours. And that would be that. Gus would be gone too.
He knew it.
Nick knew it.
And most of all, Victor knew it.
Victor had made it abundantly clear he had no intention of returning. Riggs ran his hand over his chest where the gaping hole that had once held his mate lived. No one could see it, but it was worse than any damage Maida had done to him.
It hurt.
A constant throbbing ache that Riggs hoped would someday ease. It wouldn’t be any time soon, though. His calls had gone unanswered. His texts ignored. Victor had cut communication completely.
Nick hadn’t fared much better. But at least he’d spoken to Victor a couple of times. From what Nick told him, Victor was being no-nonsense about everything. He’d built an impenetrable wall around himself. Riggs hoped it helped. He wouldn’t wish this level of pain on anyone.
“We’re gonna get through this,” Nick said. He squeezed Riggs’s neck as they entered the next cottage.
“I know.”
“He’ll come around.”
Riggs huffed out a laugh. “No, he won’t.”
Nick scowled but didn’t argue his point. They both knew Riggs was right. Victor was as stubborn as the day was long.
Nick sucked in a long breath after a moment. “I can say no, you know. I will.”
Nick wasn’t talking about Victor anymore. No, he meant Gus. With the impending arrival of the red panda alpha, Riggs had found it harder and harder to breathe. He’d spent a few hours with the little guy that morning, then left him in Puteri’s care.
“I’m not going to be there,” Riggs said. “I can’t. Please don’t ask me to be there when he takes him.”
“I won’t,” Nick promised. “But I can—”
“Nick. We do what’s best for Gus, right? That’s the plan. That’s our mission. We don’t fuck with what the Goddess entrusted to us.”
“I know. But what if you and Victor are what’s best for him? Ever think of that?”
Only every minute of every day.
Only with every breath he took.
“Every time I think about it, I see the look on Carson’s face. He knew, right? He knew what was best for him. He loved you too, Nick. And until that moment, you were his alpha. Until the one he was supposed to be with came along.”
Nick turned away and wiped his face on his sleeve. Riggs pretended not to notice as he blinked away the prickling sting in his own eyes.
“Gus deserves the best. Victor may not be speaking to me, but I know those papers he sent over are going to make sure Gus has the best life possible. And that’s what we have to do too. For him.”
“Goddammit. Fucking shit bastard fuckers.”
Nick punched a hole in the wall. Riggs closed his eyes and blew out a breath. He wouldn’t mind punching a few holes in walls himself. Problem was, it was up to him to get said holes fixed, and he just didn’t have it in him. Nick stared at the hole, then turned his scowl to his fist.
“Sorry, Riggs.”
It was his turn to step into a supportive role. He wasn’t even sure how to do it. Victor was the problem-solver. “You know, we’re gonna have to patch this wall anyway. Want to hit it again?”
Nick smirked. “Nah, I’m good. But I should probably get Vic—shit.”
“Get Victor to what?” Riggs asked softly.
“Get me a punching bag or something. I normally… uh… burn off steam