the floor would open up and swallow me doesn’t make it so.
Chantel comes gracefully to her feet and walks right past me. Wrapping an arm around Molly, she turns the woman around. The last thing I remember seeing are the tears streaming down the pretty redhead’s face. It makes me feel like absolute shit.
Having Chantel walk right past without a word might have left me feeling some kind of way as well. However, I taught her about damage control long ago. So I know she’s probably trying to minimize my stupid gaffe with Molly. The good thing about our relationship is no matter what, we always have each other’s back.
Dropping back down to sit on my bed, I think of all the ways I’m screwing up every single thing in my life. Worry eats away at me as I realize that although I try to do the right thing, everything keeps turning to shit the moment I touch it.
I’m used to success, not this constant failure. All my life I’ve had to control everything around me. I’m good at forcing things that normally go sideways to work out through pure force of will alone. Right now I’m getting a bellyful of how those well-practiced skills are not getting me what I want and need.
Filtering through all the disturbing information I’ve learned, the news about Borak is what really gets to me. An image of him rises in my mind, looking stoic and strong. He’s a proud, dedicated soldier and I cost him the respect of his peers as well as his place among the elite warrior cast.
I shudder as images flicker through my mind of him being hit with an electro-whip. The Draconians are a brutal species, but I can’t imagine them doing serious and lasting damage to one of their best warriors. Even if they did, a healer probably patched him right up afterwards.
I realize pretty quickly that’s just a bunch of shitty justification for getting my friend into a world of trouble, so I throw the brakes on that train of thought right away. Truth be told, I’d do just about anything to set things right again. I lock down my emotions cause no good ever came of being a neurotic mess in a potential crisis.
I pull on my uniform the rest of the way, tie my hair back and slip my boots on, feeling more robotic than human. Tugging my utility belt around my waist as I head out the door, I decide to just hit the tarmac. Joining one of the teams will give me a day to think things over. Everything is muddled in my brain right now. I can hardly breathe, much less think clearly. Maybe if I analyze this situation enough, I’ll figure out a way to get Borak his rank back. I can’t imagine how I’d do something like that, but I’ve got to at least try to make this up to him.
In a haze, I approach the first shuttle platform I come to and get ready to climb on. A moment before I get to the step one of the warriors snaps the gate shut and they begin moving. Since I didn’t make eye contact with him, it could be that leaving me behind wasn’t intentional on his part.
It takes three more vehicles taking off as I’m walking up to them for me to realize that I’ve apparently been grounded as well. Their behavior is so Draconian. They don’t like having to tell a queen no, so instead they just all scurry away. My heart sinks. They can’t rank strip me, but they can rescind the unspoken invitation that allowed me to accompany them on missions.
My head is screeching. I need to get some food and sim-caffeine in my belly before I try to logic my way out of this situation. Sitting all alone eating my fill of good nutrient dense food reminds me that I’ve been skipping meals a lot lately. I need to not do that for a variety of reasons.
After downing my second drink, a plan begins to formulate in my mind. Why bother haggling with Mathadar when he has to run everything by that queen he’s mated to? She’s human. I’m human. It stands to reason that schmoozing her might result in a better outcome that schmoozing her through him. In order to pull this off I’m going to have to be a lot more charming than normal, I think wryly.
It’s a good plan. It’ll work. It’s