Whatever happens to Ethan, you will survive. Love is a choice. And it does you no good to choose love if it destroys you inside. Mates can come and go, but our belief in ourselves, and our decisions, will follow us forever. You will have to live with what you’ve done for the rest of your life, and therefore, must be able to endure any mistakes you may make. Before you choose a mate, choose yourself.”
Lucien’s words made everything click. I didn’t need to choose between Finlay or Ethan— choose whether I wanted Ethan in my life or not.
I had to choose myself. Because in the end, I was the only person I had to live with forever.
I stood. “Thanks, Lord Lucien. That was just what I needed to hear.”
“I am always here if you need to talk,” Lucien said kindly. “My door remains open for you.”
Lucien’s words followed me all the way back to the dormitories. My shoulders felt lighter. Nothing seemed as dark as it had a few moments ago.
The door to Odette’s dorm was slightly open. I heard her crying.
“Odette?” I put a hand on the door and pushed. Odette was sprawled out on her bed, bawling her eyes out.
Odette looked up. Her mascara was running down her face in streaks as she said, “Oh, Emma, it’s simply awful!”
“What?” I couldn’t imagine what had happened now.
“It’s Theo and I,” Odette blubbered. “After he got in that fight with Igor, we made out in the alleyway!”
“The alleyway?”
“Yes! For five whole minutes!”
I resisted rolling my eyes and sat on the bed to rub her back. “It’s not all bad.”
“Yes it is!” Odette wailed. “I’m going to lose Theo forever!” She sank her face into a pillow.
“Why would you think that?” I forced her to sit up. Odette grabbed a tissue from her desk and blew into it, her nose sounding like a trumpet.
“You don’t get it. My family totally abandoned me. My mom doesn’t talk to me anymore, and my dad’s not around to notice the difference. Theo and his family are the only people who care about me.”
Her lip wavered. “And… and now things are complicated. Theo likes me, and I don’t really know if I like him, and if we get together, everything will be ruined.” She slapped a hand to her forehead and fell backward onto her cushions.
“I’m sure it’s not that way.” I didn’t want to laugh, but at the same time, Odette was being a bit over the top. I didn’t know who was the bigger drama queen— her or Ethan.
Ethan. It was always Ethan.
Odette shook her head furiously. “Theo and I are besties. We’ve been close since we were toddlers, basically. He’s the one person who’s always been there, no matter what. Let’s say we start dating, and then we break up. We won’t be able to be friends, then I’ll lose him and his family forever, and I’ll be all alone! I can’t lose him, Emma!”
Odette broke into a fresh bout of tears. Theo had said something similar during the King’s Ball, but in my opinion, the two of them were being ridiculous.
“You’re acting out of a place of fear instead of a place of love,” I said kindly. I wiped a few of her tears away. “You two are so afraid you’re going to lose each other that you’re not even willing to try.”
Odette stared up at the canopy of her bed, clearly confused. “I don’t know if love is worth putting what we have at risk. Theo never treated me differently because I’m autistic, and I don’t want to lose that.”
“You won’t,” I said. “And if you do, there will be other people there who will accept you as you are.”
“Do you think so?” She fiddled with her glasses. “I just want to be myself, without having to worry about what others will think.”
“And why couldn’t you?”
“I mirror people a lot,” Odette confessed. “It’s really hard for me to read social cues, so instead of being myself, I just try to copy what everyone else is doing so I can fit in. It got really bad when I was in high school. For the longest time, I just pretended to be other people so I could be accepted, instead of trying to be me. Theo pulled me out of that.”
“He wants to pull out something else, too,” I joked.
Odette blinked. “Do you really mean that?”
I facepalmed. “Sarcasm, Odette.”
“Oh, yeah. I don’t get that. I take everything at face value.” She