we could.”
“Well, you better get to it.”
“With you, too. Daddy wants you to help.”
Travis swallowed hard, a ray of hope igniting in his chest even as he wondered if Gage had actually said that. Things weren’t exactly kosher between him and Gage these days. In fact, they rarely spent any time together, and when they were under the same roof, it was usually without conversation.
Oh, but their interactions weren’t completely hindered. Every night Gage would come into the guest room Travis had moved into. And every single night they would fuck like two men who hated each other but secretly craved what the other could offer. It was only during those hours that Travis felt any sense of calm, though he wasn’t sure he was supposed to.
“Come on,” Kade whined.
Knowing it would only disappoint his kids if he didn’t join them, Travis pushed up from his chair.
“All right, all right. Let’s do this.”
“Yay!” Kade took off, waddling back the way he’d come.
Travis pulled on his wool-lined Carhartt, also something Kylie had bought for him, and walked out onto the back porch. Gage was holding Maddox in his arms while Kate, Avery, and Haden were smacking their hands on what appeared to be a snowball. It wasn’t much of one, certainly not what most people expected would turn into a man of any sort, but it was a start.
Kade raced over to them, squealing with excitement.
“You better scoop more snow,” Gage told them, his gaze swinging around to Travis.
For a moment, they stood there staring at one another.
Like every time their eyes met these days, something clenched deep inside Travis. It was true—whenever he looked at his husband, it reminded him of what they’d lost. He would immediately think of Kylie, wishing she was there with them.
At the same time, he was reminded of what he had to lose if they couldn’t keep it together. Although he still couldn’t sleep and he’d lost nearly ten pounds from not eating because he missed Kylie, he also missed Gage. The man had been his rock for so long, and not having him there … well, it was killing him slowly.
“I want a giant snowman,” Kade yelled, swinging a purple shovel—one they’d bought to make sandcastles at the beach—around. “The biggest one ever. Bigger than a building,” he exclaimed, hopping to reach as high as he could.
“Me, too,” Avery said, her voice not as loud but equally enthusiastic. “Bigger than a tree.”
“Buildings are bigger than trees,” Kade argued.
“No, they’re not.”
“Uh-huh.”
“What about you, Kate?” Gage asked, politely breaking them up.
Travis’s attention shifted to Kate, who was slowly gathering up snow into a little yellow bucket. She didn’t answer, so Travis walked down the steps to join them.
“Kate?”
She turned her head, clearly not having realized Travis was there. Her brown eyes glistened with what he knew were tears.
“What’s the matter?”
Kate looked at him, then looked at Gage. “I wanna make a snowmommy.”
Travis’s chest tightened and he had to swallow the knot that formed in his throat. He looked at Gage, saw his eyes were glassy, too.
“Then let’s do that. Let’s make a snowmommy,” Travis told her. “What does she look like?”
There was a hitch in her voice when Kate said, “Like Mommy.”
For a second, he thought he might be having a heart attack, his chest constricted so tight, and it was painful to breathe. But Travis pushed through, wanting to support Kate. The therapist she was still seeing had told them the best thing they could do right now was to be supportive, to show her they were there for her.
“What should I do?” Travis offered, hoping to distract her.
“We need more snow,” she decided.
“Here!” Kade hopped over to him, passing off his purple shovel. “You can use mine.”
“You can use mine, too, Daddy-O!” Avery said, giving him her blue shovel.
With one in each hand, Travis squatted down, scooped snow into a pile. Kade and Avery transferred it over, forming it into a ball.
It took some time, but they managed to scrape enough snow from the grass to build a decent-sized snowmommy. And by decent, it topped out at maybe two feet, not quite the building or the tree they’d been going for. When they were finishing up, Kate took off inside, leaving Travis and Gage to stare after her.
“You think she’s all right?” Gage whispered.
“I hope so.” He looked at Gage. “You want to talk to her? Or me?”
Gage passed Maddox over to Travis. “I’ll do—”
Just then, Kate came racing back outside carrying a handful