The Alchemaster's Apprentice - By Walter Moers Page 0,97

past Woodwolves, Hazelwitches and more Corn Demons lurking in niches or mounted on pedestals as if preparing to pounce. Izanuela pulled a face whenever she caught sight of one.

‘This is a regular chamber of horrors,’ she gasped. ‘It’ll be the first thing to go once I’ve got Ghoolion under my thumb.’

They were now climbing the stairs to the floor on which the kitchen was situated. Ghoolion could be heard at work in the distance. Saucepan lids were clattering, fat sizzling. He was obviously going full speed ahead and hadn’t heard Izanuela shriek over the noise of the bubbling saucepans and crackling flames. It was now or never!

‘Quiet as a mouse,’ said Echo, ‘and as quick as you can.’

Now came the critical moment. They had to steal past the kitchen. If Ghoolion needed something from the larder and came out just at that moment, it would be curtains!

Echo padded on ahead and the Uggly followed on tiptoe. The kitchen door was open a crack and Ghoolion’s clattering footsteps could be heard. The air was filled with delicious smells: roast duck, red cabbage, nutmeg … Echo spotted a hole in the carpet and leapt lightly over it, but he was too late to warn Izanuela, who caught her foot in it. She tripped, lost her balance, flailed her arms wildly and measured her length on the floor. There was a dull thud as she landed.

‘Unk!’ she went, and Echo seemed to hear a high-pitched giggle coming from the gloomy reaches of the passage.

Ghoolion’s metallic footsteps ceased. For the space of a few heartbeats nothing could be heard but his bubbling saucepans.

‘Hello?’ Ghoolion called. ‘Anyone there?’

Izanuela flinched as if she’d been struck by lightning.

‘Hello?’ Ghoolion called again.

‘Miaow!’ said Echo. ‘Miaooow!’

The Alchemaster laughed.

‘Be patient for a little while longer, Echo!’ he called. ‘This is a pretty complicated dish I’m making. It’ll be worth the wait, I promise you.’

Izanuela scrambled to her feet. They made their way along the passage and up the next flight of stairs. This brought them to the sinister room filled with cages.

‘He’s got a nice voice, in my opinion,’ Izanuela said as they threaded their way between the cages of wood and iron. ‘To think he can cook as well!’

‘You’re sweet on someone who collects cages,’ Echo hissed. ‘Doesn’t that make you think twice about him?’

‘Why should it?’ she demanded. ‘Every man needs a hobby.’

They entered the laboratory. Izanuela stood rooted to the spot. She put her hands on her hips and looked around.

‘Well, well,’ she said, ‘the holy of holies, Ghoolion’s poison kitchen! You’ve no idea how often I’ve fantasised about it. Good heavens, so that’s his Ghoolionic Preserver. What a beauty!’

She went over to the alchemical device and fingered its controls.

‘Yes, yes,’ Echo groaned impatiently, ‘but get a move on. And don’t touch anything! We’ve got to get to the roof.’

Izanuela minced around the laboratory. ‘So this is where he works, where he does his research! To think I’m seeing it at last!’ She couldn’t tear herself away.

A gust of wind blew in through an open window, swept up some notes lying on a workbench and sent them whirling through the air, riffled the pages of an open book, stirred up a dancing dust devil of blue powder, then went howling up the laboratory chimney. It was as if Ghoolion himself had crossed the room in spirit form. Izanuela shivered with delight.

‘Come on!’ Echo called, and she followed him obediently up the ramshackle stairs to the Leathermousoleum.

‘This place is far sexier than I ever imagined in my wildest dreams,’ she burbled excitedly. ‘The decor isn’t quite my taste, but it’s got class. What’s needed here is house plants - masses of house plants. And lilac wallpaper. The windows must be glazed, every last one of them - my flowers would die in this draught. We’ll need curtains, too. Lilac curtains.’

‘This is where the Leathermice sleep,’ Echo explained. ‘They’re out at present, drinking blood.’

‘Nobody understands the Leathermice,’ Izanuela whispered, looking around the loft. ‘Isn’t that what you said?’

Echo didn’t reply. They left the Leathermousoleum and came out on to the roof. Echo was eager to see how impressed his companion would be by the fantastic panorama. He was as proud of the view as if the old castle and its roof were his personal property.

‘Oooh!’ Izanuela said and froze.

‘Great, isn’t it?’ said Echo, going to the very edge of the roof. ‘You can see all the way to the Blue Mountains - there are supposed to be some female