The Alchemaster's Apprentice - By Walter Moers Page 0,96
her finger and uttered a triumphant cry. ‘Here we are! Ugglimical Love Potion, Extra Strong!’
‘Have you found it?’ Echo asked excitedly. ‘Is it really in there?’
‘Phew,’ Izanuela said to herself, ‘this is a tall order. We need some Gristlethorn … some Treacletuft…a spoonful of Champagne Rennet … a Clubfoot Toadstool … some Prickly Wormfern…a Twelve-Leafed Clover…a Graveyard Marsh Anemone … Arctic Woodbine…a pinch of Old Man’s Scurf … some chopped Toadpipe … a pound of Pond Scum … some Sparrowspit …’ She mopped her brow. ‘Heavens, what next! A Funnelhorn … Quail’s-Eye Wheat … Tuberous Stinkwort … Devil’s Clover … Inflorescent Cabbage … some Ranunculaceous Nectar … two Shadow Shallots … hm … hm …’
She looked up at last.
‘It’s as I feared, my friend: this isn’t going to be a stroll in the park. All right, I’ve got most of the ingredients here and the rest I can get from Ugglies of my acquaintance. But there’s one that’s almost impossible to obtain. It’s a plant that has become almost extinct. No Uggly knows where it’s still to be found.’
Echo’s heart sank. All his elation had gone. ‘What’s it called?’ he asked dejectedly.
‘Cratmint,’ she said. ‘An extremely potent herb.’
‘Cratmint?’ he exclaimed. ‘I know where to find some!’
‘Really? Where?’
‘On Ghoolion’s roof. A big clump of it. In full bloom.’
Izanuela looked relieved. ‘That’s wonderful. I thought we’d had it.’
‘I can pick a few leaves and bring them to you. No problem.’
She perused the book again.
‘Hm …’ she said. ‘A few dead leaves won’t do. I need the whole plant - alive. You’ll have to dig it up, roots and all.’
‘But I can’t,’ Echo said miserably. ‘It’s far too big for a Crat to manage.’
Izanuela gave him a long look. Echo stared back. Profound silence reigned for a while. Everything was so quiet, the Graveyard Ghost could be heard whispering to itself.
‘No,’ Izanuela said, ‘you can’t be serious!’
‘Yes,’ said Echo, ‘there’s no alternative: you’ll have to come up on the roof with me.’
Cratmint
There was only one time of day when Echo and Izanuela could risk an excursion to the mother of all roofs, and that was when the Alchemaster was at work on his dinner menu in the kitchen. He would be so preoccupied that they could sneak through the laboratory unobserved. The Leathermice would already have left at twilight.
The following evening found Echo waiting impatiently at the castle entrance, ready to guide the Uggly to the roof. She turned up late, as he’d feared she would. There was something different about her when she finally walked in. Her lips looked glossier than usual and her complexion less greenish.
‘What took you so long?’ Echo demanded.
‘I spruced myself up a bit,‘ she said sheepishly.
‘For whose benefit? This isn’t a date, you know. You’re here to snaffle a plant.’
‘I was almost ready before I remembered that. I’m always in such a spin where Ghoolion’s concerned.’
Echo went on ahead. Izanuela followed him along one of the galleries in which the Alchemaster had hung his disaster paintings. The scenes looked almost lifelike in the wildly flickering candlelight. ‘This is even more of a madhouse than it looks from outside,’ the Uggly said wonderingly. ‘Who painted all these pictures?’
‘Ghoolion,’ said Echo.
‘He’s a man of many talents,’ she whispered. ‘I’d never have believed he could paint as well. These pictures are absolutely -’
Echo came to a halt and swung round abruptly. ‘Listen,’ he said, ‘you’re besotted with Ghoolion already. You aren’t here to indulge your passion for him; you’re here to make him fall in love with you. Can we please concentrate on the matter in hand?’
‘Of course,’ said Izanuela. ‘But these pictures really are something!’
They climbed the stairs to the floor on which Ghoolion had displayed most of his stuffed mummies. Echo deemed it advisable to issue a warning.
‘Don’t get a fright when we turn the next corner,’ he said.
‘There’s a Corn Demon there, but it isn’t alive. It’s stuffed.’ ‘Ghoolion stuffs Corn Demons?’
‘Yes.’
‘He’s a man of many talents,’ she repeated admiringly. ‘Really multitalented!’
A chorus of whispers floated past their ears. It sounded as if a host of disembodied spirits were flying down the passage.
Izanuela shivered. ‘Eerie here, isn’t it?’
‘Yes,’ said Echo, ‘but you get used to it.’
When they rounded the corner the Uggly uttered a piercing shriek. ‘Aieee!’ Her cry re-echoed from the lofty walls.
‘Are you mad?’ Echo hissed. ‘I did warn you!’
‘But it looks so lifelike,’ Izanuela whispered as she squeezed past the horrific figure. ‘Goodness me!’
‘Pull yourself together! Here are some more of the brutes.’