Aggro - CoraLee June Page 0,22

I know you loved Violet. But it’s obvious you don’t want to be near me.”

We pulled up to a stoplight, and Kai turned in his seat to look at me. Blood was flowing freely from my wound, staining his seat and making me woozy. “You don’t know a thing about what I feel—felt—for Violet,” Kai murmured. “You want to know why I don’t want to see you or speak to you?”

I swallowed, waiting for him to answer.

“Because while I was driving you home, someone killed her. Because while I was at home, thinking of…” Kai shook his head and turned back to face the world. “Violet is gone, Breeze. I need you to leave me alone. I need you to just find comfort elsewhere, because I might not be the person who killed Violet, but I’m still a fucking monster.”

“Kai,” I whispered. How could he see himself that way? What happened that brought on all this guilt? Chase’s earlier words made something dark coil in my gut. It was unfamiliar and spurred me forward. Doubt.

“How are you feeling?” Kai asked after a long moment of silence.

“It hurts, but I’ll survive. Not my first run in with the rocks.”

“You’re not…purposefully trying to hurt yourself, are you? Because that would be really fucking stupid, Breeze.”

I rolled my eyes and leaned on the window while cupping my wound. Fuck, my side was hurting. “I’m not suicidal, asshole,” I growled, making the corner of Kai’s lip twitch. Was that a smile?

“You got the mouth of a sailor, bro.”

“Well, this fucking hurts like a motherfucker. Fuck,” I groaned just to make his lip quirk again. I liked the way his entire face softened. I didn’t enjoy seeing him so angry. What was wrong with me? Kai drove up to the hospital where my mother worked, and parked in the ambulance lane. “Thanks for the ride,” I said while shifting to exit the truck. “Oh, my bike,” I added.

“I’ll go back and bring it to your house,” Kai replied.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. In fact, please forget I exist. I meant what I said, Breeze. Leave me alone.”

My fingers shook, and I stared at Kai, trying to determine if his plea came from a place of hurt or guilt. “Okay.”

When I got out of the truck, he waited until I was walking through the automatic doors before peeling out of there. Yeah, there was no way in hell I’d be leaving him alone anytime soon.

Dear Diary,

Tonight he parted my legs like the pages of a book. He spoke words over my cunt. He prayed at an altar of trembling fingers and moans. How can something so wrong, feel so right? I know we shouldn’t be together. The world doesn’t see his darkness, but I drink from the depths he hides in his chest. I’m greedy for more, but we should have stopped this ages ago. I fell in love with a lighthouse of a man. I fell in love with a candle in the wind.

XOXO,

Violet

“What were you thinking, baby?” Mom asked while hovering over me. I had been injured before while surfing, but cutting class and finding me bleeding out in her emergency room was a first. I wasn’t usually so reckless; I didn’t cut class. I was a wallflower, the obedient girl that didn’t need rules because it wasn’t in my personality to break them.

“I don’t know. I just wanted to…”

I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I couldn’t truly articulate why I was out there. Why I went to chat with Kai alone. Why I dove into the rock garden. I just wanted to feel alive. I just wanted to feel something.

“I’m worried about you,” Mom whispered. I swung my feet over the edge of the hospital bed and stared up at her blue eyes. Mom looked tired. She’d been working more hours at the hospital and helped Dad with the shop while I was grieving. She didn’t once complain. She had the patience of a saint, and I suddenly felt bad for being so reckless and selfish. There wasn’t a guidebook to grief. It was like this never-ending wave full of ebbs and flows that hit me unexpectedly. I felt manic and depressed. It was like straddling numbness and a tailspin of emotions.

“You don’t need to worry. I’m fine.” My voice was harsher than I intended, but I was feeling annoyed. I didn’t need to explain myself.

“You’re not fine. You’re hurting, baby. And it’s normal to hurt. But you missed Violet’s funeral. Now