a way that I didn’t know how. You helped make me who I am. You meant the world to me, and I hope you knew how much I loved you. How much I will always love you.”
I took off my bracelet and gave it a gentle squeeze and a kiss. I whispered, “I love you,” and reared back and tossed the bracelet, watching as it soared into the water. Chase got up and joined me. He reached for my hand and clasped it tightly. The waves immediately swallowed it whole, like a beast claiming its bounty. It was sudden and poetic. Damning.
Chase cleared his throat and wiped away tears from his eyes.
“Violet. I’m so sorry. I should have been there to protect you. I would give anything to do that night over again. I would have gone with you, and you would still be here. I’m sorry for being so shitty. For all the stupid fights over nothing. For scaring away the boys you liked. For telling everybody at school that you wet the bed that one time. I’m sorry for not being a good brother. You deserved better.”
Chase couldn’t hold back anymore, and sobs racked his body as he fell to his knees on the sand. I kneeled down on the sand with him, wrapping my arms around him as best I could.
“Chase…” I half whispered. “It’s not your fault.” I held him tightly, trying to soothe him. In that moment, time felt like nothing but a passing reminder of our loss. It was a strange sensation. A strict contract for our grieving souls, signed in blood. They say tragedy was like rope, binding people together tighter than happiness ever could. I knew that Chase and I would always share this trauma. We’d always share this debilitating loss.
“Breeze,” Chase whispered. His thumb reached out and pressed against the corner of my mouth where a stagnant, salty tear was perched on the top of my lip. I blinked, making more tears fall. I didn’t think it was possible to cry more, yet somehow they kept coming. “Will you help me find out who killed her? I need you. I need you so much.”
It was such a tragic fate. I always wanted Chase to need me. I wanted to be the air he breathed, and now that need felt twisted. “I’ll help you,” I promised. I wanted to know just as badly as Chase what happened to my best friend. I didn’t feel like I could move forward until I knew.
Chase grinned a sad, brief grin. His bright teeth peeked through the curtain of his lips like hope. Like a sunrise on a fresh day. “You’re always there for me, Breeze.” Chase leaned in closer, and I felt my breath catch. I was stuck in this numb plane of pain, but his nearness stirred to life something that made me feel ashamed and alive all at once.
His lips brushed along my jaw as he whispered, “We’re in this together. You and me.” He leaned forward and kissed the tender spot of skin beneath the lobe of my ear before dragging his teeth along my pebbled skin.
I looked up at the sky. This was wrong. So wrong. I felt locked in his grip. Relieved by his touch. Awakened by the whispered promises he coaxed over my skin. “What do you need from me?” I asked, my voice shaky and full of lust that made me sick to my stomach. This was unacceptable. Somewhere across the island, Violet was being lowered into the hard dirt. Her parents were crying over a hole in the ground with white roses clutched in their fists.
“I need you to get close to Kai, Breeze. I need you to find out what happened that night.”
I blinked, forcing more tears to fall. “What?” I asked while pulling away slightly.
Chase reached out and grabbed my chin, squeezing slightly until pain bloomed where his calloused hands touched me. “I need you to get close to Kai. I need you to find out what he did. I know it was him. I just know it.”
I stared up at the tortured boy with glassy eyes. His dry lips were parted as he waited for my answer. “How? How do you want me to do that?”
Chase looked off to the right before staring back at me. “He gave you a ride that night, didn’t he? He has to at least care a little. Get close to him, however necessary. We have to do this.