colors to be just like her ex-boyfriend Jake’s, just like her father’s.
She could handle being discarded. She’d done it before. “You don’t have to stay. I’ll be fine. In fact, I don’t need you, Chris. I don’t want you.”
He looked lost for words but she ignored his false concern and swept past him. He reached for her, but she yanked her arm away. In the foyer, she felt bitter anguish rising in her chest, choking her, and she fought against the tears. Not now. Not in front of him. She ran up the stairs, locking herself in the bedroom.
“Rei?”
He’d followed her, knocking softly on the door while she threw herself onto the bed. She turned her head so the pillows muffled her sobs.
“Rei? Will you let me in?”
Her answer was silence. She’d already done that and look what had happened. Wrapping the down comforter more securely around her shoulders, she curled deeper into the sheets. She’d turned up the thermostat but couldn’t get warm. The cold was too deep inside of her.
11
Tuesday, April 22nd
Accomplishments: Face something you fear
“THANKS FOR COMING with me, P.J.”
“You’re only thanking me because you know I’m furious with you.” She slouched down in the waiting room chair and crossed her arms. “I would have come with you sooner if you’d bothered to tell me. That’s what best friend means, honey. I’m going to kick your butt as soon as the doctor tells us you’re fine.”
There was that word again.
Rei nodded at the linoleum floor tiles of the diagnostic imaging waiting room, using her left hand to hold a gauze pad against her other elbow. She hated having blood drawn at the best of times. There was the awful prick of metal through skin and the creepy feeling of the needle inside her vein and, worst of all, at her age there was no lollipop for being a good girl.
She lifted the gauze to see if the puncture was healing yet, then pressed it back down. Another minute. She did have another minute, right? Oh brother, she hoped so. She’d taken off her watch last night, or was it early this morning, because she didn’t want to see the time ticking away from her.
“I’m scared, Peej.”
“I’m not.” She spoke with a bright confidence that belied the dark shadows under her eyes. “There’s absolutely nothing to worry about.”
Rei lifted the corner of her mouth but failed to smile. Chris had said the same thing, but his closed expression had been the polar opposite of her best friend’s bravado. “Why? Because you said so?”
“That’s right.” P.J. leaned over and took her hand. “I’m the Queen of the World. And as Ruler of the Planet, I’m not about to let you have cancer again. There’s no way you’re going to be anything but healthy. No way.”
The tears Rei had been trying to control slipped over her lashes and down her cheeks as P.J. pressed a kiss to her forehead and sniffled. Pressure was building inside of her, and she just wanted to scream and scream. Instead she swallowed hard against the lump in her throat, wiped peach lipstick off her temple and took a deep breath.
“What you are, Phoebe Jayne, is a lunatic. I’m already Supreme Overlord of the Universe, so the planet falls under my jurisdiction.”
“No way! If you were Supreme Overlord, chocolate would have zero fat content and the 49ers would have won a Super Bowl by now.” P.J. gave a muffled laugh.
A tiny bubble of amusement formed in her chest, pushing a little of her fear aside. Rei wiped her eyes and grinned. “Yeah, we’d be trim but never have to exercise, and it would be impossible to have wrinkles and zits at the same time.”
“Rei Davis?” A nurse stood in the doorway, smiling vaguely and holding a sheaf of papers. “We’re ready for you.”
After squeezing P.J.’s hand, she followed the nurse into the dressing area. She stripped off everything from the waist up then slipped a thin paper gown over the goosebumps forming on her arms. With a sense of inevitability, she walked into the imaging room feeling chilled from more than the arctic temperature that protected the machines.
Her heart thundered in her chest. Rei took a deep breath and lifted her arm behind her head. The technician flattened her breast onto the X-ray machine and lowered the top plate.
Please, God. Please…
TWENTY MINUTES after the test, Rei was back in the waiting area. Waiting.
She felt nauseated but hadn’t been able to eat so much as a