I read it and he ended up hating me? What if I read it and we would never move forward and past this hurdle between us? What if…what if…what if…? So many damn what ifs. But one thing I knew was that if I read it and he didn’t react the way I hoped he would, I would never forgive myself for not burning the damn letter in the first place.
***
(Jaron)
I wasn’t sure what the letter consisted of but by the way that Piper was munching on her bottom lip, it couldn’t have been good.
“Come here.” I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her back against me. “Read it. Please.” I needed to hear her words. I needed to know what she went through when I was taken from her. I needed to know what I missed out on. I wasn’t sure if it was the guilt eating away at me or if I just wanted to suffer, but I wanted to know everything. Every single thing that made up the woman in my arms.
Piper unfolded the stack of papers and cleared her throat. “I’m sorry,” she whispered before clearing her throat again. “Jaron, you were taken away from me,” she said, louder that time as she read her own words. “I never thought that you and I would end up together. I actually thought at one point that you hated me.”
Never. That would never happen.
“It’s been a couple of days since the police took you. Since I felt Brody’s hands on me. Since I thought he was going to…” Her breath hitched.
I tightened my hold on her.
“Rape me.
I think what bothers me most is that I had no idea. Brody was nice. Kind. I saw him help an old lady cross the street and nurse a dying bird back to life. It didn’t make sense and I feel stupid for falling for his games.
I’m not sure what’s going to happen or even when your trial is. No one has told me anything. I keep getting an ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I’ll let you know when we find out something’ but no one has told me shit.”
Piper took another deep breath.
“I shouldn’t be writing this letter. My wounds are fresh. My emotions are raw. But I’ve always kept a journal, ever since I was a little girl. So a letter is no different I guess. They say that writing letters and then destroying them after can be therapeutic. Well, I’m not going to destroy this one and I hope you see it. I hope you read it and know the pain your absence has caused me. God, I sound like a bitch. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for Paris and for leaving you the next morning. I’m sorry for not starting whatever this is between us, sooner. Jaron, I’ve been in love with you since we were kids, but I’ve also been terrified of those feelings. Because they go far beyond love. I’m obsessed.
With you.
When you showed up in Paris, I thought ‘This is it.’ Jaron and I are going to be together forever, and we’ll be happy. Little did I know that being with you, isn’t easy. Although, being with me isn’t easy either, I’m sure.
I’ve heard rumors. Stories about the women you’ve been with. It’s like now that we started sleeping together, I’m hearing more and more about how you truly are with the women you’ve fucked. But you know what? I don’t care. I don’t care at all because I know I have your heart. Or I hope I do.”
I kissed her temple. “You do, baby,” I whispered, petting my hand over her head.
“Loving you hurts but living without you is worse. It hasn’t even been a week yet and I don’t know if I can do this. I’m not strong,” Piper continued, a lone tear rolling down her cheek. “Because I know that if you hurt me, I’ll never recover from it. That’s why I’ve been so scared to reveal my feelings for you.
Jaron, you could break me, and I know if that happened, it would be the end of me. I shouldn’t depend on someone like I depend on you, but I can’t help it. I need you. I need your stormy eyes and deep voice. Your cocky smirk and your crude words. I need your rough touch and your spicy scent. I need you.”
Piper looked at me. “There’s more but I can’t. God, Jaron. I sounded so desperate.”
“Never.” I cupped