knows when you’ll get a flight? We do it this way and we’re there before morning, guaranteed.”
“I don’t want to do that, okay?” My voice cracks, but I hope he doesn’t hear it. He’s being patient and kind—and yet in my heart, I kind of wish he wasn’t.
“Why?” he asks, drawing the word out slowly.
“Because private jets are not my life, they’re yours. I appreciate the offer. I do. But I’m not going to keep pretending this makes sense when it doesn’t.”
His mouth opens and closes a few times before he decides that whatever he wanted to say isn’t worth it. He steps closer to me and holds out his hand.
“Fine. We’ll fly commercial, but I’m not taking an Uber when our car service is quicker.” His voice is firm, then soothing. “But we need to get going, so let’s go upstairs, okay?”
I ball my hands into fists at my sides. There is no we, I want to holler at him. What’s worse is that there is still a tiny voice inside me that wants there to be a we. An us that I could count on with Alec, one where I could take his hand and let him handle this for me. He may be looking at me like he’s exactly the kind of man you want in your corner when your life is going to hell and you’re not sure how to deal with it, but the two of us were never going to be a couple. We are as temporary and inconvenient as it gets.
“No. This is my problem. Not yours,” I say a little too loudly. Alec’s face pales a little as he skirts a surreptitious glance around us.
“But—”
I cut him off by raising my hand up. “This is a family thing. You get that, I know you do. My family is in Colorado, and I need to be there with them. Your family is in that room.” I nudge my chin toward the ballroom. “That’s where you belong. Tonight is important for you guys. They need you in there.”
Alec shakes his head. “Not the same thing and you know it. Tonight is only about shaking hands and talking to people about their fucking yachts. Your dad is in the hospital. My family would understand.”
“They don’t need to understand. I’m not your girlfriend; I’m not your anything. You don’t have to take care of me.”
His entire face slackens as if I just sucker punched him and he’s still trying to get his breath back. I realize how callous I sound, how cruel my words must feel in light of the past few days. Regret about my family is apparently just the start of my guilt complex tonight.
Alec doesn’t say anything. He just runs a hand through his hair and looks away. I realize then that this could be the last time we see each other. Alec is a decent enough man to stay away when he knows my dad is sick even if he still wants to close a deal with us. He knows there’s a good chance that by the end of this season, the track will be closed for good, and whether we want to or not, we may have to throw in the towel and do what we always said we wouldn’t. And at this point, I can’t imagine we’d sell to anybody but Mason Enterprises. The irony of that, compared to how I felt six weeks ago, is almost laughable.
So I can’t risk leaving things this way with Alec. Not when it might be the last time we see each other for anything other than business. I close the distance between us, near enough that Alec can’t help but look at me.
“Thank you for this weekend, Alec. They’re the best days I’ve had in forever. But right now I have to go back to my real life.” He shakes his head and looks away. I press a fingertip against his chin and gently urge his gaze back to mine. “You are such a good guy, you know that? You’re smart and kind, and you’re good at the core. Everything I ever said to you that first week we met? Before I really knew you? I was wrong.”
Alec’s eyes drop closed for a beat, then he takes my face in his hands and kisses me so tenderly that I have to squeeze my eyes tightly shut. If I don’t, then when our kiss is over, my eyes will tell him everything. Every painful,