at their house, both as a little kid hanging with her buddies, then as his girlfriend, times two—when Burt Holloway didn’t mention in some form how someday Duncan was going to join him as a member of his union.
It was never fun, but the older Duncan got, the nastier the conversations became.
What, you too good to be a plumber, boy?
I like to be outside, Dad, and there isn’t a lot of plumbing done outside.
Smart mouth. Always got a smart mouth. So…what? You’re gonna be a park ranger, pussy shit like that? Glorified mall cop, hanging around feelin’ like a big shot with nothin’ to do.
Remembering this one particular conversation, which happened around the time Duncan was looking into what it would take to become a park ranger, and he’d made the mistake of mentioning that to his father, our conversation from lunch that day morphed over it and I wondered.
Because I got to LA, and what happened to me did not happen to hardly anybody.
I got an agent quickly.
A few commercial jobs.
I worked as a substitute teacher and had two roommates.
And I was cast in Rita’s Way after only two other acting gigs, both as one-line, glorified extras, one on a sitcom, one on a gritty nighttime cop drama.
But then, I was off.
What would Duncan have done if he’d come with me?
I’d never heard of a River Rain store until Rita’s Way signed off for good and I was starring in feature films.
A chain of stores didn’t happen overnight.
And it didn’t.
“Hey,” Duncan called softly, and I focused on him. “You were a million miles away.”
“I was remembering that dinner when your dad confronted you about being a park ranger.”
He shook his head, took a sip of beer, but I stared at him with some surprise because his mouth didn’t get tight, the skin around his eyes, nothing.
Nothing at all, when before, just the mention of his father could put him in a bad mood that it would take certain talents I’d honed to work out.
“He passed. Heart disease,” he told me. “Five years ago. Mom’s down in Goodyear. She should be up here, where I can keep a closer eye on her. But she has her women and her bowling club and whatever else she does, and she won’t even discuss it. Not lost on me fifty years of marriage to Burt Holloway wasn’t easy. It’s like she’s on perpetual vacation and I worry about her, but I can’t find it in me to take it away from her.”
I’d always liked his mom.
Ruthy Holloway was quiet, sweet, a great cook, a mom who loved her only son (and I had suspicions she kept it at one child deliberately, so Burt couldn’t dig into another one) and a woman who was totally dominated by her husband.
“Goodyear isn’t too far from me. I always liked your mom. I should go visit,” I murmured.
“Baby,” Duncan murmured back.
I snapped to, staring at him.
What was I thinking, telling Duncan I should go see his mom?
The expression on his face now was speaking volumes, and his mouth was opening to make them audible, and I was terrified what I’d do if he did.
“I have three,” I announced.
He looked bemused, which was a far safer look than the one he’d been wearing the instant before.
“Three what?”
“Kids,” I stated.
Again, he was opening his mouth.
But I kept speaking.
“There’s Chloe, my oldest. She’s a stylish, perfectly accessorized, never-ending trail of lit rocket fuel.”
Something else moved over his face, I couldn’t read it, but it didn’t matter.
Yes, again, I kept talking.
“Then there’s Matt. He came barely a year after Chloe. We…we…we…” I nearly pounded a fist on my chest in order to get out words that would indicate what any adult knew, children were the products of having sex, but somehow alluding to Duncan I’d had sex with another man, even if that man had been my husband for twenty-four years, had me regressing to a fourteen year old, “got pregnant again fast. He’s in his second year of med school. At USC. We’re very proud of him.”
“Genny,” Duncan whispered.
“Then there’s Sasha. Our baby. We took a break after Matt. You have children so you know, they’re a lot of work. Two babies that close together, I couldn’t quit working, but I was very hands-on with my kids, so I was a walking zombie. This means Sasha is three years younger than Matt. She, like Chloe, elected not to go to college, and instead, is a ‘student of the planet.’ Her