“For what?” I asked, smiling down at the top of her head.
She let out a groan that was beyond adorable. “I fell asleep on you.”
I shifted and tilted her head up so I could see her face. “Never apologize for that. Ever.”
She studied me a moment, then licked her lips and dropped her gaze. “I’m smothering you. Can you even breathe?” She still sounded embarrassed. She started to get up, but my arms tightened around her. I wasn’t ready for that just yet.
“I slept better than I’ve slept in years. You’re the best blanket I’ve ever had,” I teased, trying to ease the nervous stiffness in her body. I had liked her all soft in my arms. I wanted that back.
She let out a laugh and dropped her forehead back to my chest. “Wine after a long day in the sun knocks me out,” she said with an apologetic tone still in her voice.
“Then I’ll have to remember to do that often. What are you doing after work tonight?”
She lifted her head, and the smile on her lips made my heart clench. That was my Bethy smile. The one she used to give only to me. “Seeing you two nights in a row isn’t casual dating,” she said, as if I needed reminding. I didn’t want to think about what that meant. She didn’t want to be exclusive, which meant she could date other people. If that actually happened, I wasn’t sure I could be held responsible for my actions. The idea of her out with anyone else drove me crazy. I wasn’t letting that happen. How the fuck I was going to stop it was another thing.
“Sure it is. We ate, talked, watched a movie, and fell asleep completely clothed. That’s very casual. Let’s do it again tonight.”
The smile on her face grew, and she shifted again. Reluctantly, I eased my hold so she could stand up. If I held her down, she might not come back. I could always tie her ass to the bed. That would fix this casual-dating shit.
Bethy stood up and raised her hands over her head to stretch, leaving me with a small glimpse of the smooth skin of her stomach. The leggings she was wearing molded to every curve, and I was close to begging her to turn around and stretch again so I could see her ass in them. The shirt she wore almost covered it up. Last night, all I got was a hint of what it was covering up.
“Today is my day off. I have to do grocery shopping, clean my apartment, and—”
“Go visit Nate, stop by the post office, and get your mail. Then you go to the beach and stand in the spot where we lost Jace,” I finished for her. I had followed her for months. I knew her typical schedule for her day off. I didn’t want to remind her of Jace, but he was a part of her life. Our life. I wanted to remember him. I wanted to be able to say his name without worrying that she would shut me out.
She blinked at me as if she was surprised that I knew all of this, but there was no sadness there. The guilt and regret didn’t cloud her eyes. She turned to walk over and pick up her shoes and slip them back on. It wasn’t a secret that I followed her. She knew that.
Sitting up, I ran my hand through my hair but decided I didn’t care if it was messy. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, as I watched her search for her purse. She needed to put space between us, and if I wanted this to happen again, I was going to have to let her.
“Tomorrow night?” I asked, knowing she didn’t need me to elaborate on what I wanted.
She turned back to me, and I could see the wheels turning in her head.
“There’s a birthday party for Mr. Emerson at the club tomorrow night. He’s turning eighty. People are coming in from out of town. It’s a big thing. Woods asked me to work it.”
Mr. Emerson was London’s grandfather. Bethy’s eyes said what she wasn’t saying. She expected me to be there with London.
I’d actually forgotten about London’s asking me to go with her. I had turned her down. After the barbecue, I knew I was wasting my time and hers. She didn’t fit into my world. We had been good together once, but I had broken away from that life, and being near London reminded me of why I’d run from it.
“I won’t be there. There was nothing to end in the first place, but I told London we weren’t going to work. She’s a part of a world I don’t want.”
The relief in Bethy’s eyes flashed before she covered it up by glancing away. “Oh, OK,” she replied.
“After the party?” I asked. I wasn’t giving up.
She fiddled with the hem of her shirt. “I’m always so exhausted after a big event at the club, so I won’t be much company. I’ll just want to eat and sleep.”
I was completely OK with that. “I’ll feed you and give you a killer foot massage, then let you go to sleep.”
The internal battle playing out across her face had me holding my breath. “OK. But you don’t have to supply the food. We get sent home with tons of leftovers from these things. I’ll have plenty for both of us.”
Mentally, I jumped up and punched the air with a shout of victory. In reality, I managed to stand up calmly and nod my head toward the kitchen. “Great. You want some coffee before you leave?”
Bethy
I held my shirt up to my nose one more time before I pulled it off and inhaled. It smelled like Tripp. And he smelled wonderful. Closing my eyes, I let myself remember how good his hard body felt under mine when I had woken up.
I vaguely remembered being unable to hold my eyes open last night and leaning over to lie on his shoulder. I wish I’d been awake for more of that. I felt like I had missed out. But then, if I’d been awake, there was no way I would have slept on him.