“I know. The thing is, he loves you more.”
I started to shake my head.
“Ash, Beau wouldn’t have betrayed me if he wasn’t head over heels in love with you. No use in denying it.”
“Okay,” I agreed. Maybe he was right. I wanted him to be. “What did you bring me out here to tell me, Sawyer?”
Sawyer pulled over into a deserted parking lot and cut the engine. I waited patiently as he gathered his thoughts together. An empty plastic bag danced in the wind across the parking lot and I watched it thinking I knew exactly how it felt. It was on a path it couldn’t control. So was I.
“Ash, Beau isn’t my cousin. He’s my . . . he’s my brother.”
I sat there as I let his words sink in. Did he mean in the metaphorical sense? I mean, I already knew he thought of Beau as his brother.
“I don’t understand,” I finally managed to reply.
“I’m still trying to understand it myself, to be honest.” Sawyer shifted in his seat and turned his body to face me. “When we were yelling at each other Sunday and saying things we really didn’t mean, or at least we would take back later, Honey informed us that my dad wasn’t just my dad. But Beau’s dad too.”
“What?”
“Honey was my dad’s high school flame. Then my dad went off to college and met my mom his first year in law school. She was the daughter of one of his professors. He fell in love with her and married her. Once he graduated and passed the bar he moved back to Grove to open a practice. Honey was here still raising hell and breaking hearts apparently. She and my uncle Mack used to hang out and stir up trouble together. So when she got pregnant with Beau, and married Mack everyone thought it was Mack’s. My mom got pregnant with me the same year. She had no idea about Beau and didn’t until I confronted Dad right in front of her Sunday evening. Dad and Honey hooked up one night in a bar after he and Mom had gotten in a fight over her spending too much money on furniture. They were drinking tequila shots and Dad says all he remembers is waking up the next morning in Honey’s bed. Six weeks later she was knocking on his door claiming she was pregnant. He didn’t believe her, or at least he didn’t believe it was his. So my uncle Mack married her. He believed her. Once Beau was born, Uncle Mack threatened Dad with revealing his night with Honey to my mom if he didn’t agree to a paternity test. Dad took one. Beau was his. Uncle Mack said he’d raise him as his own. He was in love with my Aunt Honey. Had been since high school. Then you know the story. He died. Honey was the lousiest mother on earth and Beau was left to fend for himself.”
I sat there staring out the window, unable to look at Sawyer. How could his father do something like this? He’d known how much Beau had suffered. I rested my forehead against the cool glass window and closed my eyes. Tears squeezed out and trickled down my cheeks. No wonder Beau left town. It was bad enough he felt unwanted by his mother. Now he had to deal with being unwanted by his father. Mack Vincent had only been his uncle. The only memory Beau had of a stable life had been with Mack.
“Beau didn’t abandon you, Ash. He just needed time to deal.”
“Where is he?” I asked as a sob tore from my chest.
“I wish I knew.”
Sawyer didn’t say anymore. The truck cranked up and we headed back to town in silence. I knew I should say something but there were no words. Not for this.
Sawyer pulled up beside my Jetta and I finally looked at him.
“I’m sorry. I know this has been hard for you too. I understand now why you didn’t say anything all week about what was happening to me. You have bigger issues to deal with than a little school harassment.” I reached over and squeezed his hand. “Thank you, Sawyer. For telling me. For being a friend. For everything.”
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “There’s no excuse for how I treated you this week but thanks for trying to let me out of it.”
“I understand now. That’s enough.”
He nodded and I released his hand and jumped down out of his truck. This had been our closure. The ache in my chest for the pain Beau was going through overrode the peace I knew was there somewhere. Sawyer was now officially behind me. He was my past. If only I could find my future.
Chapter 25
Honey’s head snapped up the moment I stepped into the bar. I let the door close behind me while I studied the woman who had lied to her son his whole life about who he was. Over the past week I’d grown to like Honey. I didn’t agree with her parenting skills but I knew she loved Beau and that was enough. Now I wanted to see the remorse in her eyes. Something to tell me she knew she’d done him wrong.
“Stop staring at me like I’m a damn science experiment. What’s up your crawl today?” Honey said as she stepped around the bar holding my gaze. She was trying to decide what I knew. I could see her measuring me with her eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me the real reason Beau ran off? You let me believe it was me and Sawyer that sent him running.”
She raised a thin dark brow and sighed. “Guess Sawyer decided to share the good news with you.”
“I don’t consider the fact Beau has been lied to his entire life ‘good news’.”
Honey pulled out a bar stool and sat down, rolling her eyes at me as if I were being overdramatic.
“What’d ya come here to do, Ashton? Scold me? Accuse me? Judge me? Go ahead. It ain’t as if I’m not real use to that. But make sure you stop by your old boyfriend’s house and give the same dressing down to Beau’s daddy while you’re at it. ’Cause, baby girl, it takes two to tango.”
“I’m not here to judge you or any of those other things. I’m here because I’m worried about Beau. I wish you’d have told me. I would’ve gone looking for him.”