“Where is he?” Sawyer ordered, cutting off my question. I shook my head, staring up at him and trying to figure out why he was so determined to find Beau.
“I told you I don’t know. I left church and went to see Leann. I stayed the night at her dorm and came back this morning.”
Sawyer mumbled something that sounded like a curse and my eyes flew open in shock. The sun beamed down on his face and I could see swelling along his right cheek bone under the bruise. Apparently, he’d found Beau yesterday at some point.
“Did Beau do that?” I reached up to touch his face and he swatted my hand away with a disgusted sneer.
“Don’t touch me. You made your bed, Ashton, now you can lie in it. I’m not yours to touch.”
He was right of course. I simply nodded. Anger lit up his blue eyes.
“You did this, you know. He’s gone because of you. You ruined his life. I hope it was worth it.” Sawyer’s voice was laced with the anger flashing in his eyes. One thing was for sure: he hated me.
I didn’t nod this time. I just stepped around him and walked away. It hurt too bad to see the hatred in his eyes directed at me. I needed to find Beau. Not calling him yesterday had been a bad move but I refused to believe he’d run off. He’d been ready to fight for me. From the battered appearance of Sawyer’s face he did fight for me. I was ready to choose him over everyone else. It was time I threw caution to the wind and went after what I wanted too. And I wanted Beau.
Eight hours later, I stood outside the bar where Honey Vincent worked, staring at the door. I hadn’t ever been here in the daylight. The peeling paint and badly beaten-up door weren’t noticeable in the dark. Beau hadn’t shown up for school today. People who once spoke to me acted as if I didn’t exist. It would have bothered me if I hadn’t been so worried about Beau. I’d texted him several times but there was never a response. Sawyer had only directed his angry glare my way once: when he was headed to the field house after school he walked by my locker and shook his head as if to blame me for his cousin’s absence. The fear that he was right had gotten stronger all day long. I should have called Beau yesterday. No, I should have stayed by his side. Instead, at the first sign of struggle I lied and ran, leaving him holding the bag. I’m an awful person.
The door to the bar opened and Honey stood there with her hand on her hip staring directly at me. Her long, dark hair was pulled to the side of her head in a low ponytail and she was wearing a pair of snug jeans and a baggy sweatshirt. It was the first time I’d ever seen her body so well covered.
“Well, come on in, for crying out loud. How long you gonna stand here and study this door? He ain’t in here, so you can’t will him to walk out of it.”
So Beau wasn’t here, but maybe she knew where he was. I hurried after her as she spun around and headed back inside.
The bar was different at three o’clock in the afternoon. The curtains were drawn, letting sunlight inside, and the windows were open, allowing a fresh, cool breeze to waft through the place. Almost taking away the stench of stale beer and cigarettes . . . almost.
“He left yesterday. Ain’t been home, neither. You messed those two boys up good, girl.” Honey shook her head as she went to wiping glasses off and hanging them back up above the bar.
“I know. I need to fix it.”
She shook her head and let out a hard laugh.
“I reckon that would be nice but the damage is done. Those boys about beat the shit outta each other in here yesterday. You’ve made them both crazy. Never thought I’d see a girl come between them two but then I never figured you’d ever look Beau’s way either. Once you started showing him some interest I knew this was all going to hell in a hand basket real quick. You’ve always been my boy’s weakness.”
I sank down onto a stool across the bar from her. My stomach churned with guilt. What had I done to Beau? How could I say I love him and hurt him so badly? Love wasn’t selfish.
“I’m an awful person. I’d take it all away if I could. I can’t believe I’ve done this to him.”
Honey paused and raised an artfully sculpted brow. “Him who?”
“Beau,” I replied, frowning. A sad smile touched her lips and she shook her head.
“Well I guess he ain’t as stupid as I thought he was. I figured the boy’d thrown everything away for some little gal looking to have a good time. I didn’t think you’d actually care about him too.”
I wanted to get mad, but how could I? I’d done nothing to prove I cared anything about him. Love didn’t screw up your life.
“Do you know where he is? I just want to talk to him. I need to fix this.”
Honey sighed and slid the glass in her hand on the rack above her head before meeting my gaze.
“No Ashton, I don’t. He left here after beating his cousin’s face in. He was hurt and angry. I figure he needs some time and then he’ll come out of hiding. For right now, you just worry about fixing your problems with Sawyer.”
I shook my head. “There is no fixing my problems with Sawyer. He hates me. All I can hope is one day he understands, but I don’t have time to deal with him.”
Honey leaned both her elbows on the bar and studied me a moment.
“You mean to tell me you ain’t getting back with Sawyer at all? You ain’t even worried about losing that fine future he planned on giving you?”
There was never a future with Sawyer. I’d known that all along.