I wasn’t sure how to answer that and right now I didn’t want to. “Let’s just enjoy it,” I begged.
“I’ll do whatever you want me to. I always have,” was his reply.
“Where did you run off to last night?” Leann whispered as she plopped down on the step beside me. I’d decided to hide out on the stairs once Grana’s house filled to capacity with people. They were suffocating me. Leann was here with her mother and I appreciated it but I wasn’t in the mood to talk. I studied her expression to see if she had any idea Beau had taken me to play pool before taking me home. I’d texted her to let her know he was driving me home because I had a headache and I’d left it at that.
“Beau offered to take me home so I went. I wasn’t in the mood to hang out after Ryan.”
She leaned over closer to me, bumping her shoulder against mine. “Girl, you should’ve seen the bloody mess Beau made of Ryan’s face. He beat the crap out of him. It was hot.”
I rolled my eyes at her words, hiding the secret thrill I felt over having Beau take up for me.
“Don’t roll your eyes. You have no idea how hot he was beating Ryan’s face in. He kept warning him he’d kill him if he even looked in your direction again.”
I opened my mouth to respond when the smell of intense old lady perfume wafted over me.
“Ashton, sweetie, I’m so sorry.” Mrs. Murphy, one of the ladies in the church who Grana always said needed to wear more make-up to cover up her bags and less perfume because she was polluting the atmosphere, stopped in front of me and held out her hands.
Everyone wanted to hug me as if a hug was going to make me feel better. Mrs. Murphy’s habit of bathing in cheap perfume caused a headache with up-close contact. So I patted her hand awkwardly, hoping she didn’t grab it and jerk me up into her arms. I could see the white used tissue in her grasp and I wasn’t thrilled about having to touch it or have it touch me.
“Thanks, Mrs. Murphy,” I replied.
She sniffed and dotted at her eyes with the tissue. “It’s just so hard to believe. I mean, she was just at the ladies’ auxiliary meeting on Monday. It’s awful, just awful.”
I didn’t need this. Why people thought I wanted to hear about the last time they saw my Grana was beyond me. I was trying to forget. I wanted to pretend she and I were going to curl up on the swing together when everyone was gone and talk about funny things we saw or someone said. I didn’t need to get a play by play from everyone here on the last time they saw my Grana alive.
“Thanks, Mrs. Murphy. Ashton is dealing with things the best she can. She appreciates your words but she isn’t up to talking about it just yet.” Leann’s words were perfect. Mrs. Murphy gave me one last sad smile and nodded before making her way over to someone who would talk to her.
“Thanks,” I said, glancing over at Leann.
She wrapped her arm around my shoulder. “That’s what friends are for.”
I nodded and laid my head over on her shoulder. I was going to miss her this year at school. I never had many girlfriends. I’d grown up with the Vincent boys as my two best friends. I wasn’t good with girl friendships. Leann had been my first girlfriend my freshman year. She’d been a sophomore, and taken me under her wing.
“What am I going to do without you this year?”
“You have Prince Charming. You’ll do fine. Besides, I’ll only be a phone call away.” Tears stung my eyes. I’d lost my Grana and I was losing Leann. My world was changing so quickly. I really needed Beau right now. He would make sense of everything. He’d listen to me complain and feel sorry for myself and not try to make me look on the bright side. Wrapped up in his arms was where I wanted to be. Not here with a bunch of people in my Grana’s house and a kitchen full of casseroles and pies.
“You want to get out of here? I’ll take you out and get you drunk,” Leann whispered.
I couldn’t leave my parents to deal with all of this alone. “Thanks, but I can’t. I need to be here. Grana would want me here.” My heart ached painfully and I fought back the tears. I would get through this. Grana would want me to be strong. If she knew I’d messed around with Beau Vincent today she’d be thrilled. A smile tugged at my lips although my eyes were blurry with unshed tears. The one person that mattered would wholeheartedly support my spending time with Beau. Somehow, that made it all better.
“I’m going to a movie with Leann,” I said as soon as we walked into the house.
The last of the visitors at Grana’s had finally gone, leaving us with more food than we could eat in a year. I sat a sweet potato casserole on the bar and turned to look at my parents.
“You’re going to a movie this late?” Dad asked, frowning as he sat down several pies he’d carried inside.
“It’s a midnight viewing for some vampire movie or something. She doesn’t want to go alone and I need to get my mind off things.”
My mom, who appeared better this evening than she had this morning, smiled. She seemed pleased I wasn’t planning on crawling into bed to cry. Wonder how she’d feel if she knew I was planning on crawling into the arms of the town’s bad boy to cry instead? I couldn’t worry about what she or Dad thought. Staying here looking into my dad’s sad eyes and my mother’s tentative smile would only cause me more pain. When I was with Beau I could forget for a little while.
“Good. Go out and have some fun. You’ve been spending too much time alone since Sawyer left. It isn’t good to be alone all the time,” Mom encouraged. Dad hadn’t seemed to be able to say much today. Looking at him caused the pain in my chest to open up again. I glanced back at Mom.
“I know. I just needed to adjust to Sawyer being gone. I hadn’t realized how much time I spent with him until he wasn’t here.”
Mom liked my response. She loved Sawyer but she always reminded me how getting too serious this young wasn’t a good idea. I still had college ahead of me. The guilt of what I was doing with Beau eased even more when I looked at my mom’s smile. I was lying to her about who I was with and what I was doing, but in a roundabout way I was doing what she wanted.
Normally this was when my dad would tell me to be careful and be home by eleven. Tonight he remained silent. Lost in his own world of pain. I gave them one last smile and headed for the door.