Looked like I was staying there. I would not smile. I would not. But damn, I wanted to. “I got an extra pair of sweats and a T-shirt in my car. Let me grab them and then I’ll head out to the barn. Go on inside and relax. I’m not going anywhere.”
She didn’t move. I went back to the car and got my things. Eva was still standing on the porch when I walked back her way. And she was still biting her lip and twirling her hair.
“What’s wrong? You’re still doing that thing with your hair and your lip,” I said.
She dropped her hand from her hair and stopped biting her lip. Then she sighed and pointed to the house. “There’s plenty of beds in the house. The barn is cold this time of year, and I won’t get any sleep if I’m worrying about you freezing out there.”
I would not smile. Damn, that was hard. “Okay. If you’re sure. ’Cause I can get extra blankets and stay warm out there.”
She shook her head. “No. That’s silly and pointless. Just come on inside. I didn’t make dinner, but I was thinking of making some chili.”
I wanted to ask her about how Jeremy would feel about this, but I wanted her to tell me on her own. I didn’t want to force her to admit that she was no longer engaged. If she wanted to keep that to herself right now, then I would let her. I took the steps two at a time and stopped at the top. I opened the door then motioned for her to go inside. “After you,” I told her.
She smiled, and the relief in her eyes made me feel warm inside. I’d make sure my girl got some sleep tonight. She walked in and I followed behind her, feeling the first real hope since I’d started this a week ago. Eva wasn’t ready to forgive me and take me back, but she was willing to admit she needed me. That was good enough for now.
“Just take the room you used to sleep in,” she said, knowing it was rare that I actually slept in that room. We normally ended up in the barn together on those nights.
“I need a shower too. I’ll come help you with the chili after I get cleaned up.”
She nodded. “Take your time,” she said, and I left her there without touching her. Without a kiss. I missed that. I missed the ability to touch her and hold her whenever I wanted to. I wondered if she missed it too.
* * *
After I got cleaned up and changed into my sweats, I headed downstairs to hear Eva humming while she chopped peppers. I couldn’t help but smile. She used to sing that song while doing some clapping thing with a cup. She’d seen it in a movie and thought it was fun. So many little things I missed.
“Where’s your cup?” I asked.
She stopped humming and glanced back at me. The grin on her face was playful. I had to take it slow that night. Because right then I wanted to take it very, very fast. “You managed to take just enough time to let me finish up. Now all I need to do is add these and let the chili simmer,” she said as she picked up the peppers.
I walked over and lifted the lid while she dropped the peppers into the pot.
“See, I showed up for the heavy lifting,” I said.
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. But I’m going to go shower now. You watch the pot. Stir it every five minutes or so.”
I could do that.
Chapter Twenty-One
EVA
Eating dinner with Cage while he was being charming and going out of his way to make me smile was nice. . . and hard. I shouldn’t have asked him to stay. I should have let him go to the barn. I should’ve been a big girl and dealt with it. But I was so tired that night. I hadn’t slept the night before, and although the doctor said the sleeping pills he gave me were safe for the baby, I didn’t trust them.
So I’d caved and asked Cage to stay. I knew I would feel safe with him there. As stupid as it was, I wanted to know that he was in the room down the hall that night, asleep. Even after he’d hurt me so badly. He was still Cage. He was the father of my baby, and he had given up everything to come home. For our baby.
We were dancing around this thing between us. At some point I was going to have to force myself to talk to him about those photos. And that—I took a deep breath—video. Pain always sliced through me when I thought of them. Cage was a player. He liked women. I had known that the first time I let him kiss me. His sexy smirk and beautiful body had caused me to throw all common sense out the window and fall in love with him.
I had paid for that. I put a hand over my stomach and realized it had been worth it. Cage might have brought me to my knees and crushed me, but he’d also given me this. He’d helped me find life again after Josh. And now that I needed someone in my life again to lean on, there he was. Could we be friends? Was that even possible?
I watched as he put the last pot into the dishwasher and his shirt pulled up from his waist to flash me the two perfect dimples on his lower back right above his amazing bottom. I’d licked those dimples more than once before taking a bite of his ass. Smiling at the memory, I didn’t realize Cage had glanced back at me.
When I felt his eyes on me, I quickly jerked my gaze off his exposed skin and turned to walk into the living room. “Thank you for cleaning up. You didn’t have to do that,” I said as casually as I could manage.
I took the quilt from the back of the sofa and curled up in it, covering myself up even though my body was heated enough from memories of Cage’s bare butt. I could see Cage step into the room out of the corners of my eyes, but I reached for the television remote and started surfing the channels. I couldn’t look at him. He needed to go to bed.
“Are you brushing me off now or can I watch some television with you?” There was no humor in his voice, so I chanced a peek at him. He wasn’t amused. Good. Maybe he hadn’t seen me studying his ass like I wanted a bite. Because we both knew I was a fan of his backside.
“Sure. Anything in particular you wanna watch?” I asked, forcing a smile before looking back at the television.