I walked into the dark kitchen and tuned the light on. “Hope I didn’t wake you,” I said as I turned around to look at her. She was still staring at me, but she closed the door and hurried over to the coffeepot when I caught her.
“No, I was awake. Didn’t sleep good last night,” she explained.
“Why? You aren’t scared here alone, are you? I’ll sleep in the barn if it would make you feel better at night.” I didn’t like her not being able to sleep.
She blinked her eyes several times as if I was going to disappear if she kept blinking them. As much fun as it was to watch her try and figure this out, I was starting to feel sorry for her. I didn’t like playing with her head.
“I’m really here. I’m not leaving. I’ll be back the next day and the next. So stop waiting for me to vanish. You’re very awake.”
Her cheeks turned a bright pink, and she ducked her head and went back to fixing the coffee. “What do you mean you’ll be back? When do you leave for school?” she asked without looking at me. She kept her attention on making the coffee.
“I hate it there. I’m home to stay.” That was all she needed to know right now.
She turned around and crossed her arms over her chest, and I was silently thankful because she wasn’t wearing a bra and I could see her ni**les real damn good through that white shirt. It was too snug fitting. “You hate it? That was your dream.”
“Yeah, it was once. But dreams change. Fate has a way of showing you paths you want more.”
Eva was still frowning. “But you had a scholarship.”
“And I’ll get a college loan now. I’d rather have a loan than f**k up my life.”
Eva reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. I could see the moment she realized her hair was still a mess. I had been enjoying seeing her like this, but I could tell by the look in her eyes she wasn’t happy about it.
“You look beautiful. You always look beautiful.”
She didn’t reply. She spun around and got a thermos out of the cabinet and set it on the counter. “Are you gonna. . . Are you gonna work here then? I mean, did Jeremy hire you last week and not tell me? ’Cause he. . . I don’t know if he will still be working here long. I’m gonna be looking for more help soon. But then if you want a job and you want to work here, I don’t mind. It’s just, I don’t know what you’re thinking.” She stopped rambling. I had been enjoying it.
“I’d love a job. I need one, even. I was gonna work without pay, though. I just want to be close to you.”
She straightened her shoulders and dropped her hands, which was a real bad idea because her tits were right there again and, damn, had they gotten bigger? “Why?”
“Why?” I repeated, afraid I’d missed something else she said. I was having hard time concentrating. Her boobs were bigger. Holy hell. Was this a pregnancy thing?
“Yes, why do you want to be near me?” she asked.
I knew I needed to take it slow. I tore my eyes off her br**sts and looked at her perplexed face. How could she not know? I loved her completely. “Being near you completes me. It makes me happy. I f**ked up and I lost you. I don’t expect to ever get you back. I don’t deserve you. But I want to be near you. That’s why.”
She blinked several times and took a deep breath, which really didn’t help the fact she was braless in a snug-fitting white shirt. “Oh. I’m going to. . . I need to go. Help yourself to the coffee,” she said, and hurried past me and back to the stairs that led to her room. I stood there as I listened to her feet pad up the stairs before I moved toward the coffeepot.
I wasn’t sure I’d get that breakfast now, but that was okay. She needed time. I’d just said something she hadn’t been prepared for. I wanted her to think about it. I also wanted her to put on a bra.
Chapter Twenty
EVA
Jeremy had gone hunting. I hated him. He’d done this on purpose. He had known Cage was coming back. He knew it all weekend and didn’t tell me. I was punching him in the nose when I saw him next. I’d made an idiot out of myself downstairs. I’d thought my lack of sleep was causing me to hallucinate when I saw Cage drive up that morning. Then he’d come inside and he’d. . . I reached up and cupped my tender boobs. They ached all the time these days. They always felt swollen. Then when Cage had started staring at them, I swear they were tingling and causing the area between my legs to tingle too. I’d had to go up to my room and calm down.
I’d given in Saturday night and eased the ache that thinking about Cage always caused. I hadn’t let myself do it while I was engaged to Jeremy. It just felt wrong. But taking cold showers was painful in the winter. I much preferred an orgasm. Even one that I have to give myself. I had plenty Cage moments to replay in my mind to get me off. Sitting up in my room and watching him load the truck had given me more inspiration. He’d stared hard at my boobs. I’d seen the look in his eyes, and just remembering it made my body come alive. Just to have him touch me again.
My ni**les were so tender now. Having him look at them helped produce a much better orgasm than the one I’d had on Saturday night. I wondered what would happen if he touched them. I squeezed my legs together and tried hard to push that thought away. It would only send me back to my bed with my hand down my panties. I had to get control of that. Cage was just more than my body could handle.
He wanted to stay. He wanted to be close to me. He wasn’t asking for anything else. I didn’t understand. Why would he stay here and work for free just to be near me if he didn’t think we could ever have what we once had? He had hurt me. He had done things that there was no excuse for, and I was terrified to trust him. But I wanted him here. I wanted to see his sexy smile. I wanted to see him look at me with need in his eyes. I also missed him. I enjoyed talking to him, however, brief our conversations might have been.
I stepped away from the window. He needed to eat something, and I wanted to talk to him again. Alone. Without Jeremy here. Maybe his going hunting wasn’t such a bad thing after all. Besides, Cage thought I was still engaged. He wouldn’t do anything he shouldn’t. Which was good because I wasn’t sure I could tell him no.
* * *
Once I had biscuits and eggs ready, I called his phone for the first time in six months.