Harlow’s eyes went wide with wonder as she gazed at our baby girl. Lila Kate had slept through the ride down here, so she was still unaware of this moment and how important it was.
“Can I hold her? Will it hurt her? I want to hold her, but I don’t want to hurt her,” Harlow said, her voice still weak.
The nurse adjusted pillows on each side of Harlow. “The best thing for her right now is to be in her mother’s arms. She will have missed your voice and your heartbeat. She’s been waiting for this, I can assure you.”
Harlow’s eyes were on our daughter, and mine were on her. The nurse picked up Lila Kate and placed her securely in Harlow’s arms. I stood as close to them as I could while taking in the sight I had been afraid I would never see.
“She’s beautiful,” Harlow breathed, with a worshipful look on her face.
“Told you,” I reminded her.
“She’s so small. Is it OK that she’s so small?” she asked, looking from me to the nurse.
“She was born two months early. She’s four pounds, which is a really good weight for a thirty-two-week preemie. Her lungs are great, and so is her heart. She’s even taking the bottle with no problem.”
Harlow touched her little hands and ran her finger over her delicate nose as she studied her. “I get to watch her grow up,” Harlow whispered. “I get to be her mother.”
“The world’s best mother,” I said, watching my girls together for the first time.
Harlow spent the next few minutes checking out Lila Kate’s toes and fingers and even her tummy. She checked everything. While I was helping her put socks on Lila Kate’s little feet, the baby’s little eyes fluttered open, and she puckered up.
“Hey, my precious baby, it’s Mommy. I’m here,” Harlow said. The puckered frown disappeared instantly, and Lila Kate gazed up at Harlow.
I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and snapped a photo of that moment. They were lost in each other’s eyes, and I wasn’t sure who was more in love with whom. It was one of those moments that there are no words to adequately capture. Nothing was good enough.
Lila Kate stuck her tiny thumb into her mouth and continued looking at her mother.
Harlow glanced up at me and beamed. “She’s sucking her thumb.” The awe in her voice was something I completely understood.
“She’s been doing it since the first day. She also likes to add a finger in there every once in a while.”
Harlow laughed, and Lila Kate stopped sucking. Her little eyes went wide with wonder, as if she was just realizing who was holding her.
“You’re our beginning,” Harlow told her. “It’s time we lived without fear. You’re the most wonderful chance I ever took.”
I bent over and kissed Harlow’s forehead. “Thank you for her,” I said. Then I lowered my head and kissed the other love of my life on the head.
Harlow
The day after I woke up, I was moved to a large suite. That was the best way to describe it. This room wasn’t covered by health insurance and was hardly ever used, but it was on Kiro’s bill, and it was the best they had to offer. I was thankful for it. The extra bed for Grant and the large sofa and extra seating for guests were nice. It didn’t feel so cramped. If I was going to be stuck in a hospital, then this was a nice way to experience it.
Grant walked into the room carrying my overnight bag which Blaire had been holding on to for me. “They said they would give you a shower today, and I wanted you to have your bodywash and nightgown,” he said.
“Thank you.”
He set the bag down beside the bed and kissed me on the mouth sweetly before stepping back. “Maryann wants to see you. She’s been wanting to visit with you before she heads back to Texas.”
Mase had said his mother had come in with him to see me when I wasn’t awake. She’d left to rest just before I had called out for Grant, and then everything had happened after that. I wanted to see her and thank her for being the first person to stand by me when I chose to keep my baby. “Good. I want to see her,” I said.
Grant pointed to the large bouquet of pink roses and the wrapped gift beside it. “That’s from her. She brought it last night, and I had them send it up here.”
I turned to study the roses more closely while I waited for Maryann to arrive. When the door opened back up, I smiled at her, and she burst into tears. Her big, wide, happy smile was the only thing that eased my mind. She was crying joyful tears. That I could handle.
“I had wanted you to have your baby, but when you didn’t wake up . . .” She put her hand on her chest and let out a small gasp. “I blamed myself. I was so sure you were strong enough, and then, oh, I was . . . just don’t do that again, OK?” she said as she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly.
“Thank you for believing in me. She’s the most wonderful, perfect, beautiful little girl in the world.”
Maryann sighed and wiped at her face. “I knew she would be, but having your life hanging in the balance was something I hadn’t been prepared for.”