I expected her to argue or say something snide. But she didn’t. She just walked off. If my mind hadn’t been completely focused on Harlow, I would wonder what the hell had just happened.
“You’ve been standing here for more than an hour. Can I get you a drink?” Rush asked.
“No.” I wasn’t f**king drinking a soda while Harlow’s life hung in the balance.
“Fine. Dehydrate,” he replied.
The doors swung open, and a doctor stepped out, scanning the area. His eyes landed on me. “I’m looking for the family of Harlow Manning,” he said.
I tried to say I was the family, but nothing came out. Panic squeezed my throat so tightly I couldn’t even breathe. This was it. This was my news.
“That would be us,” Rush said when he realized I wasn’t going to be able to do it.
The doctor walked over to us and glanced back over Rush’s shoulder. “Haven’t ever seen this waiting room quite so full,” he said.
“Harlow’s loved,” Rush replied.
I managed to gasp in some air, and the doctor’s eyes swung to me. “You OK?”
“He needs to know how Harlow is. He’s about to go into a full panic attack,” Blaire’s voice said behind me.
“I need immediate family,” the doctor said.
“She’s my fiancée,” I finally managed to speak out.
The doctor nodded. “All right, then, good enough. I assume the baby is yours.”
I nodded.
“Well, congratulations. You have a baby girl born at two forty-five a.m. It’s too early, but we had to do an emergency C-section. She will have to stay in NICU for a little while, but she is completely developed, and her heart looks good. She’s three pounds ten ounces and sixteen inches long. I’ll need you to fill out her birth certificate when you’re ready to step back there and see her.”
Lila Kate was alive. She was here. On September 28, 2014, I had become a dad. I sucked in a deep breath. Harlow had done it. She’d brought our baby into this world healthy and alive. But what about Harlow . . .
As if reading my thoughts, the doctor went on. “We lost Harlow for a couple of seconds. She came back fast, though. She’s a fighter.”
“You lost her?” I asked, not understanding what he was telling me.
“Her heart stopped beating, but she came back with a little help. However, she hasn’t woken up and is in critical condition. I can’t tell you right now if and when she’ll wake up. Her heart and body suffered through a severe traumatic episode. She’s lost a lot of blood, and she’s going to need a transfusion. Because of her delicate nature, it needs to be A-positive. If there’s a relative handy with her blood type, a parent or sibling, that would be best.”
I was B-positive. I couldn’t help her. She needed me, and I couldn’t do anything.
“I’m O-negative,” Woods said, stepping up beside me. “I’m not related, but I know O-negative is a universal donor.”
The doctor nodded. “Yes, but if we had a family member with the same blood type, it would be best. If not, we will gladly take your offer.”
“I’m A-positive. I’m her sister. I’ll do it.”
At Nan’s words, the entire waiting room went silent.
My sweet Lila Kate,
Today you entered this world. I’m writing this before I’ve actually seen you. This is my letter to you if I’m not there to hold you and welcome you into this life. I can imagine, though, how perfect and beautiful you are. I bet you have your daddy’s blue eyes. I hope you have his smile. He has a wonderful smile.
If you never got a chance to meet me, know that you were my greatest accomplishment. You were a dream that I never imagined would come true. Since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mommy. I wanted a baby of my own. I didn’t understand what that meant until I was told you were inside of me. I already loved your daddy so fiercely. You were a part of him, and I loved you with the same fierce adoration.
Every choice I made until this day has been one I wanted to make, and I wouldn’t change a thing. I would love the chance to at least hold you, but if that doesn’t happen, know that I held you inside of me for nine months (I hope) and cherished every day.
Sleep tight in the secure arms of your daddy. I know I have. He’ll be good at making you feel safe. When you’re scared, let him remind you that he’s right there, always ready to hold you when you need it.