“I ca-ca-can’t imagine,” she said with a sob, “life without you here.” Honestly, neither could I.
“I won’t be gone forever. I’ll come visit and bring presents from New York. I will call every week and you can call me. Just think of the stories and adventures I’ll get to tell you about.”
She clung to me and continued to cry. All I could do was hold her. Eventually Henry walked into the room followed by Hazel and when Hazel saw us tears welled up in her eyes. She knew why Bessy was crying, even if Henry was confused. The idea of me moving was so foreign to him he wasn’t sure what to think.
“I’ll come home for the holidays with presents and we will talk about all I’ve missed. Maybe one day you can come visit me. I’ll save up so you can.” I tried those encouraging words, though nothing eased them entirely. While we sat piled in the floor as a family I let them cry it out.
Henry came to sit in my lap and laid his head on my chest. I wasn’t sure how long we sat there. I did not rush their sadness. When the tears dried we waited in the silence. I would miss them. That was felt. I’d hold onto this moment forever. Not because of sadness, but because we were family and that bond is never severed, even if we wished it to be.
Jamie’s tears hadn’t been much better. She was emotional and pregnant so I spent two hours consoling her like a mother. If I ever wondered how much these people loved me, I definitely knew it now. To me, that meant the world.
It was Sunday morning when I got the call from Hale’s personal assistant. Felicity was her name. She was emailing me my flight information and the list of travel details. I was to fly out of Nashville at eight on Monday, the move happening rapidly as my questions increased by the second and by the minute.
Felicity assured me that all of the answers were contained within my email. I explained I didn’t have an email account and she asked if I had any access. I told her I did because Jamie had a laptop with an Internet connection. She then gave me a website, login name and a password all my own. I apparently had one now.
After getting my information printed off at Jamie’s I took it to momma for perusing. She read it and said we would leave the house at four the next morning and that I needed to be packed and have my driver’s license with me.
Sleep didn’t come easily. I was too nervous and anxious. I kept reading over the details Felicity had sent me in the email. I would be here and then I’d be there. Things changing rather quickly, which is exactly as I wished, though still, this was hard. Here were the particulars as follows:
8:00am
Nashville to Atlanta
Nashville Intl. (BNA) to Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta Intl. (ATL)
Delta 496
Seat 3A
BOEING (DOUGLAS) MD-88
Layover
1h 58m stop Atlanta (ATL)
12:10p
Atlanta to New York
Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta Intl. (ATL) to John F. Kennedy Intl. (JFK)
Delta 1415
Seat 4D
Arrival at JFK:
Upon arrival you will proceed to baggage claim. Your driver will be waiting with a sign that has your name on it. He will get your luggage and take you to the penthouse. Once there the details of your job and instructions will be on the kitchen counter. The key, credit card, and keyless entry code will also be waiting on you. Once you have gone over everything sign the contract and fax it to me from the fax machine in the office down the hall to your left. My number will be listed if you have any questions.
Safe travels,
Felicity
I read over it a million times to be sure I wasn’t missing something. The fear that I would do the wrong thing and end up somewhere lost was real and apparent to me. I had never been on a plane. I had barely been out of Moulton.
Finally I folded the paper and tucked it back in my purse. Then I rolled over to look at Hazel who was sound asleep beside me. She would grow so much this year. She was already beautiful, but this year, Hazel would really blossom. I felt a touch of sadness over missing that, but yes, I would miss it.
Leaving had always been my dream. Now hours before I actually left I was torn between wanting to hold onto here and going to chase my new life. I wanted both, but couldn’t live two. I had to choose and I’d chosen.