“I know I don’t deserve her,” I replied in a low whisper. I’d protected her from the time I’d saved her soul from Death. But now, when she needed me most, I’d sent her away right back into Death’s embrace. Why he hadn’t taken her soul, I couldn’t figure out. It didn’t make sense.
“Why Kendra? She is so, so, Ugh,” Miranda hissed.
I couldn’t argue with that. “It wasn’t anything like you think. I’m in love with Pagan. Kendra is an annoying pest that can’t accept I’ve moved on.”
Miranda straightened up and turned her full attention on me. “You love Pagan?” she asked with awe in her voice.
I’d said that aloud. Well, it was time I admitted it. “Yes, but please don’t tell her I said that. Right now, she isn’t ready to hear it.”
Miranda nodded and a small smile touched her lips, “I agree. She doesn’t need to hear that right now. But you’re going to need a lot of luck to get back in her good graces. Considering you almost,” Miranda stopped and her eyes filled up with tears again. I didn’t need to ask her to know what she was thinking.
“I know. I intend to do everything I can to win her forgiveness.”
Death was singing to her? What in the hell was that about? I came by everyday. I brought her the foods she requested. I spent time with her just the way I’d always wanted. We laughed. It was perfect…but at night he was coming to her. He was singing to her as she slept. The lyrics he sang weren’t words the lord of Death should be directing at anyone. Clinching my fist to keep from walking into her room and demanding he leave, I listened to the words.
“The life I walk binds my hands, it makes me take things that I don’t understand.
I walk this dark world unknowing of what they hold true, forgetting the me I once knew—until you.
The life I walk eternally was all I knew, nothing more held me here to this earth— until you.
I feel the pain of every heart I take, I feel the desire to replace all that I have grown to hate.
Darkness holds me close but the light still draws my empty soul, the emptiness where I used pain to fill the hole no longer controls me, no longer calls me—because of you.”
Dread ran through me as the meaning of those words sank in. Dankmar was attached to Pagan. He’d kept her alive because he felt something for her. She was mine. I’d been there. I’d saved her and molded her. Death was NOT going to take her away from me. I couldn’t tell Father. He’d demand that I just take her. She wasn’t ready that yet. Not now. She was so close to feeling for me something deeper than friendship. I needed her love. I had to win her love. When I took her from this life, I wanted her to go willingly. Dankmar would not stand in my way. She didn’t know who he was. She couldn’t. If she did, she’d be terrified. Pagan would not fall in love with Death. I knew her well enough to know that she’d never accept who he really was.
4. A taste of heaven
“If you aren’t ready to start on my speech, I’m not in a hurry,” I whispered in Pagan’s ear as she cuddled up against my side. She sighed and pressed closer to me, as we sat on the couch. We were supposed to be watching a movie but that wasn’t happening. I’d been doing algebra equations in my head all evening to keep my mind from dwelling on the warmth of Pagan’s body, the honeysuckle scent in her hair, and the fact her hand was just above the waist of my jeans. Her other hand was clasped firmly in mine. Being this close was like a taste of heaven. The problem was my body wanted to have a larger bite. Preferably with Pagan on her back and me pressing down on her, NO! I had to get a grip.
My cell phone rang causing Pagan to squeal and cling to me. “It’s my phone, not the fire alarm. Jeesh, you’re jumpy tonight.” I teased reaching into my pocket and pulling it out. The number was private which meant it was my father.
“Hello?”
“Death is jest outside de gurl’s house. Leave,” Father replied in my ear. I hadn’t felt Death’s presence. Why was Father calling me about this? I wasn’t ready to leave. Pagan was mine.
“I’m at Pagan’s right now....I realize that, but I’m busy....We haven’t finished it yet.”
“Don argue wit me. Leave. Now.”
“Okay, I’m on my way,” I replied knowing arguing with my father was pointless. He had his reasons. I wasn’t going far if I did leave. Death had been here almost every night for weeks. I didn’t understand it but I dealt with it.
“That was my dad. He needs me to ride with him to drop mom’s car off at the mechanic’s. They’re going to work on it first thing in the morning. He can’t go to bed until he has dropped it off and he’s beat after working a double shift at the station.” I lied.
Pagan frowned sitting up straight, “Oh, yeah, um, go on. We can work on the speech tomorrow.”
Something was bothering her. I did not want to leave her. Ever. “You look uptight. I hate to leave you all wound up.”
She forced a smile that didn’t meet her eyes. “I probably just need some sleep.”
Leaning down, I captured her mouth with mine and nipped gently on her bottom lip. Her mouth opened immediately and I slipped my tongue inside needing a taste. Leaving her was never easy. Having her warmth and taste on my lips would give me something to hold close until tomorrow morning.
Pagan pressed up against me and her breast brushed against my chest. All good intentions I may have had flew out the window as a hungry moan escaped my chest. Shifting, I laid Pagan back on the couch and came over her quickly taking her sweet swollen lips again.
Her legs parted and I eased down between them tucking my body as close to hers as it had ever been. The warmth cradling my h*ps sent a shiver of pleasure through my body. I needed more. Slipping my hands under her shirt, I reached the bottom edge of her bra.