I didn’t go back inside after she walked away. Instead, I leaned against the wall and laid my head back as her words returned to me in a rush. She wanted more. She wasn’t willing to let me take her and have that be it.
She knew her self-worth. She wasn’t willing to have casual sex. She respected her body. She was f**king perfect. I’d actually told her I didn’t do relationships and that what we were doing was a f**k and nothing more. What kind of sorry motherfucker does that to a woman like Sienna?
Touching her had been . . . God . . . it had been amazing. She smelled even better than I’d imagined. I could still smell her on my hand. It was reminding me of what I wasn’t good enough for. Dancing with her and feeling her body against mine had worked me into a frenzy. One only Sienna Roy could satisfy.
No one in that club appealed to me.
I didn’t dance, but I had held her in my arms, and there I was, dancing with her. Holding her close. Enjoying every minute of it. Then she’d moved against my leg and trembled in my arms, and all I could think of was touching her. Making her come on my hand. Watching her.
I sank down to the ground and sat there. Songs played inside, and I could hear when Jackdown took the stage. The crowd roared, and I closed my eyes and wished like hell I had been stronger. Better.
“You gonna sit out here all night and beat yourself up for whatever the hell you did, or get up and go check on her?”
I opened my eyes to see Rock standing over me.
“She doesn’t want to see me,” I told him.
Rock cocked an eyebrow. “Really? ’Cause the girl I met inside looked at you like you were some angel from heaven. For a minute there I thought you might walk on f**king water and not have told us.”
Normally, a comment like that would’ve made me laugh. But right now I felt sick to my stomach. “She left. I told her all I’d ever be was a one-time f**k, and she said she wanted more. That she deserved more. And she’s right. So I let her go.”
Rock didn’t respond right away. He agreed with her, I was sure. Everyone saw how amazing she was. It was easy to see.
“I’ve known you all my life. And I’ve never seen you treat anyone the way you treat Sienna. Not when we were in high school and not now. She’s your one. The one who reaches you. The one who makes you different.”
“She was Dustin’s,” I said, reminding him that in high school she was never mine. I had protected her when my brother hadn’t. Nothing more.
“No one was ever Dustin’s one. We both know that. I believe Sienna may be the only one who doesn’t know that.”
“Don’t. He loved her. He made mistakes. He was a kid.”
Rock shook his head. “It’s time you faced some things. One of those things is that Dustin never deserved Sienna. You did. You gave her to him. She wanted you, and you handed her to him.”
“She was a kid!” I yelled. I didn’t want to hear this. Dustin had loved that girl. He had since he was little. He’d made some mistakes, but he’d have done anything to protect Sienna.
“Explain Kimmy Bart, then. Make it make sense in your head. Because it never has in mine,” Rock said, then turned and walked away.
I watched him leave. I hated that he had brought up Kimmy Bart. I didn’t want to think about her. I didn’t want to remember what she’d done to my family. The pain she’d caused when we hadn’t needed it.
She’d been one of Dustin’s biggest mistakes. One I’d never wanted Sienna to know about. It would destroy her.
When I finally got up and went to my truck, I decided I’d drive by Sienna’s to make sure her car was parked in the driveway. I would sleep better knowing she was home safe. I should have followed her since she was upset, but I had needed space and time to think first.
My headlights illuminated a car pulled off the side of the road, and my heart stopped. It was Sienna’s. Shit! I slammed on my brakes and jumped out of the truck, but Sienna wasn’t in the car. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and dialed her number while I jumped back in my truck and searched for her on the side of the road.
It went to voice mail.
Shit.
I’d started to dial her number again when a text lit up my screen.
Sienna: I’m in bed. I don’t feel like talking tonight.
So she was home. Who had she called?
Me: I found your car. How did you get home?
Sienna: I walked.