So f**king right.
SIENNA
Dewayne’s big body holding me close was better than the dancing. And I loved dancing. I had never been held close like this and danced with the right way. I kept inhaling Dewayne’s masculine scent. He had a woodsy smell with a hint of peppermint.
He had glared so fiercely at the few people who had bumped into me on the crowded dance floor that no one was getting near us now. He also had me so close to him that I felt like we were one person. The music went from slow to more of a sexy beat, and I slipped my hands up to his shoulders and moved my hips to the music, letting my head fall back and closing my eyes. This was nice. Or more like fantastic. Dewayne’s hands tightened on my hips, and I loved how possessed it made me feel. Even if we were just dancing. For this one moment I was his. And I loved it.
His leg moved between mine and I rubbed against him, only to freeze from the contact and inhale sharply. He was so much taller than me that the friction hit me in just the right place. I gripped the front of his shirt tightly in my fists. We were on a dance floor and I could not hump his leg. But all I had to do was move my hips a little and I’d feel that heavenly pressure again.
His hand was in mine, and he was pulling me from the dance floor before I could decide what to do next. I thought he was mad at me and we were going back to the table, but when I looked around, we were headed the opposite way. It looked like we were headed to a back door. Was that a bathroom? What was he doing?
Dewayne shoved people out of his way who didn’t move on their own, and then he was slamming open the door and we were outside in the dark. There were no parking lot lights, only woods.
“Spread your legs, Sienna,” he ordered as he pressed me up against the wall. “Pull up your skirt and open your legs,” he said again, this time with a growl.
I was too startled to argue. He looked like he wanted what I wanted, so I did exactly like he said. I tugged up my dress and opened my legs.
Then his hand was there, cupping me as he breathed heavily. “This . . . we shouldn’t do this. I’m not that guy. You remember I told you I’m not that guy. But I don’t f**king dance, Sienna. Do you understand me? I don’t f**king dance.”
I was confused. He had danced with me. He slid his finger inside my panties and I didn’t care anymore. I grabbed his arms and cried out in relief and pleasure. He was actually touching me. This was real. And if I was asleep, I really didn’t want to wake up.
“So wet,” he said, pressing his lips to my neck. “Slick little hot pu**y is gonna kill me. You are too much. I want a taste of you, and I can’t keep my hands off you even though I know this will hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you.”
He wasn’t hurting me now. I could hardly form words as he slid his finger inside my entrance. I squeezed his arms and panted.
“I want to f**k this. I want you. I want inside you. Right motherfucking now I want inside you so damn bad my dick is about to bust out of these jeans. But that will be all it is. We won’t do it again. I don’t do relationships. I don’t want you hurt.”
He wanted to f**k me. Just this once and then he’d be done with me. We would be friends again. Or he’d just be my son’s uncle. Could I live with that? Could I give myself to him knowing it was just this once?
No.
I wanted more.
I’d loved Dustin when I had slept with him. Maybe I hadn’t been in love with him, but a part of me did love Dustin. I hadn’t been ready for sex then, but I had loved him and he had wanted to. He had loved me, and that had been enough. But this wasn’t love with Dewayne. He didn’t love me. He never would.
His finger slid back out of me, then circled my clit, and it felt so very good. Being with him would be the most epic moment of my life. I knew that. But then what? I would find a way to move on? Love someone else? Could I ever love someone else? If I tied myself to Dewayne this way, I wouldn’t be able to let him go. Not in my heart. And didn’t I deserve to be loved? To know what it felt like to be held like Preston held Amanda? To know that the man beside me wanted only me?
He was right. I deserved more.
I pushed him away, and he went without a fight. Closing my eyes, I caught my breath. “I want more. I can’t. I can’t do this with you and have it mean nothing to you. If you’re going to walk away from me, then I can’t do it. I’ll want more. I don’t want a taste of something I can never have.”
I opened my eyes. Dewayne’s hands were tucked in his pockets, and he hung his head as he took deep breaths. He looked defeated. I felt defeated. The young girl inside me who thought Dewayne Falco was my own prince charming was realizing he wasn’t. He was a man. Just like any other.
“I’m sorry, so f**king sorry,” he said, still not looking at me.
This was it. I couldn’t go back inside. Not after he had hauled me out of there like that. I would call Amanda and apologize later. Right now I just wanted to go home.
I didn’t tell him good-bye. I’d see him again soon enough. He would come see Micah. I would pretend like I didn’t feel something for him. I would act as if he hadn’t hurt me. I would deal. I was good at surviving. I could survive this.
Luckily, Amanda had driven to Live Bay with me, so I had my car here. Preston had dropped her off at my house earlier, and she’d helped me get dressed. She wouldn’t need me to give her a ride home. I climbed in my car and turned it toward home. To put on my pajamas and cuddle on the couch with the little boy there who loved me. The one man in my life who I would be enough for. I always had my son.
I was still three miles from home when the car started jerking. This had happened once before and I had managed to crank it back up after it went dead. I just didn’t need it to happen now, on a dark road.
I pulled the car over to the side of the road just as it gave up the struggle. I waited a few minutes and tried starting it up, but it was completely dead. I couldn’t sit here all night. I had to move. Besides, I had walked three miles home before. Maybe not at night, but I had walked three miles.
I grabbed my purse and took my keys with me, then headed the rest of the way home on foot. My feet were going to have blisters after walking three miles in these boots. That was the least of my problems, though. In the morning I had to find a tow truck service I could afford.
DEWAYNE