But he didn’t come back the next evening. And after a week had gone by, I knew it had to be me. I hadn’t gone to his apartment to face him because I couldn’t stand it if he was disgusted with me. I shouldn’t have let him get too close. I shouldn’t have gotten comfortable with him. I had been ridiculously excited about my sweet tea. He had shown me how to make it, and that batch had been my third attempt. I was so sure I had gotten it right.
So I let my guard down, and I was me. He had seen me. That was the only thing it could be. I let him see me, and what he saw sent him running. It was stupid. I should have known better, but Krit made me feel different. I wanted to trust him, and because I wanted it so much, I had.
Stupid girl.
“Frowning again? Third time this week I showed up to see your smiling face and it wasn’t what greeted me.”
I snapped my head up to see Linc standing in the doorway with a white bakery bag. He looked concerned. Why did he keep coming around? He hadn’t kissed me again. But he brought me sweets and spent a good deal of time trying to make me laugh.
But I didn’t let him in. I was careful with Linc. That was why he was still coming around. I should have been careful with Krit.
Linc lifted the bag in his hand. “Cream-filled doughnuts with the sprinkles on top, just like you like them.”
I smiled at him. Seeing him helped me forget the sadness of Krit’s absence. “You are awesome,” I told him.
His smile got bigger, and he glanced back at the door. “Excuse me while I go buy some more doughnuts,” he said with a teasing gleam in his eyes.
“Do not leave with that bag,” I said, standing up.
Linc set the bag in front of me and put his hand on my waist before pressing a kiss to my cheek. He lingered there and inhaled deeply before pulling back. He had been greeting me this way since our kiss.
“I need to see you outside of this office. I was being patient with you because you seem so easily spooked and I didn’t want to screw this up, but I really want to take you out. Please, go out with me. Tonight, anywhere you want. Your wish is my command.”
I stood there staring at Linc as his words sunk in. He was asking me out on a date. I’d never been on a date. He seemed so hopeful. If I went and I let my guard down, would he run off and leave me too? This thing with him visiting me at work was safe. A date wasn’t safe.
“I, uh . . .” What could I say? I didn’t want to push him away. He was now my only friend, and I didn’t want to mess this up too. Now that I knew what it was like to have friends, I liked it. I wanted friends.
“Please,” he begged, tightening his hold on my waist. “I swear, I won’t push you. You’ll be in complete control. I just want to spend time with you.”
Telling him no would be a mistake. I couldn’t do that. I would just be careful not to be me with him. I would be what he wanted me to be. I could pretend. “Okay. But you need to plan the date. I’ve never been on one.” Oh, crap. I was being me. Crappity crap.
Linc pulled back and frowned at me. I had done it. He was about to leave me too. He was going to see the real me. The ugly inside was going to shine through. I closed my eyes, unable to watch another friend run away from me. I just hoped he did it quickly.
“How?” was all he said.
How? What did he mean how? I opened my eyes and looked up at him while he searched my face. Was he looking for something? What did he see?
I couldn’t do this again so soon. I was already sore from Krit’s exit. I stepped back and sat down in my chair. “It’s okay. Just go. I don’t need excuses.”
The doughnuts in the bag reminded me of the pad Thai that Krit had left me in his great escape. The sweet cream no longer appealed to me. I tried to focus on the papers in front of me.
Linc didn’t move at first, but when he did, I held my breath and expected him to walk away. Instead he bent down. “What just happened?” he asked gently.
I turned to him, and my eyes collided with his. “You’re not leaving?” I asked.
His frown deepened, and he shook his head slowly. “No, Blythe. I’m not going anywhere. I just can’t figure out why you seem to think I would want to leave.”
He didn’t see it. I hadn’t laid myself bare to him. He was still here. I let out a relieved sigh and smiled. “Sorry, I just thought that because I hadn’t been on a date . . .”Shut up, Blythe. I couldn’t seem to stop saying that I hadn’t ever been on a date.
“Was Malcolm very overprotective?” Linc asked me.
Pastor Williams, overprotective? Wait. He thought I hadn’t dated because I hadn’t been allowed to. He didn’t think it was a bad thing.
“Yes,” I lied.
Linc smiled then. “Good. He should have been.”
If he only knew the truth. No. He couldn’t know the truth. He’d run too.