He hadn’t looked like he was making fun of me and my glasses, but what had he meant by that? I closed the door and gave myself a moment to adjust to him being in here before turning to look at him. He was already walking into the kitchen to help himself to plates.
If he was teasing me about my glasses that was okay because friends teased each other. Right? I think they did. I could handle some friendly teasing. I knew I looked like a complete nerd in my glasses. It wasn’t like I thought they were attractive. Krit was used to the women in his world being beautiful and perfect. Maybe that was why he liked me. He didn’t get distracted by my looks.
That was a completely depressing thought.
“You gonna stand there frowning at this perfectly yummy pizza or come eat some?” Krit asked as he held out a plate to me.
I was being awkward again. He was here to be nice and friendly and I was making this weird. I shoved my thoughts about why Krit was here aside and forced a smile. He had brought me dinner. I wouldn’t have to cook now. This was a good thing. I wasn’t here to waste time with a guy anyway. I had a life to build. A book to write. I had goals.
“That’s my girl,” he said as I took the plate from his hand.
I wasn’t his girl. He didn’t mean anything by that. Telling myself that didn’t keep my silly heart from picking up its pace. But then all Krit had to do was grin at me or wink and my heart went into a frenzy. It was as if my body couldn’t deal with the excitement that came along with Krit.
“How’s the job?” Krit asked as he pulled out a chair and sat down.
I shrugged. Not much to tell him really. “Good. I enjoy it. I don’t deal with a lot of people and the pastor is really nice.” I didn’t mention Linc. Especially after the kiss we had shared today. I wasn’t ready to talk about Linc. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling where he was concerned. And I didn’t need Krit reading into anything I said.
“You ever gonna come listen to me play?” he asked, then took a bite of his pizza.
No. More than likely not. Going to a club where I knew no one other than a guy on the stage did not sound appealing at all. It sounded terrifying. However, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
“I’m not sure. I don’t do that scene, or I never have. I wouldn’t even know anyone.”
Krit studied me a moment. “You could bring a friend,” he finally said.
A friend. I had two of those. At least I thought I did. I was still trying to figure out what constituted a friend.
“I’ll see if I have one that wants to go with me,” I told him, wanting to change the subject.
“You have that public speaking class yet?” he asked.
I nodded. I had suffered through it and somehow made it out on the other side alive. But that didn’t mean I would always get out of being called on to go up front. “Not my favorite,” I admitted.
“You really have a problem with attention don’t you?” he asked as he finished off his first slice of pizza.
He had no idea how much of a problem I had with attention. He loved it. I hadn’t seen him perform yet, but I could tell by the look on his face when he talked about it that he adored having all eyes on him. I had no doubt those eyes on him loved every minute of it too. Having a reason to look at Krit was always nice.
“I just don’t have good experiences with it. . . . I like to go unnoticed.” I wasn’t telling him anymore. My past needed to stay in the past. This was my now and my future. I didn’t want to bring all the ugliness and pain from my past into the life I had now.
“Problem with that, love, is that you’re really f**king hard not to notice,” Krit said with a small smile on his lips, but a sincerity in his gaze that made me think he didn’t mean that in a bad way. Almost as if he was saying he liked what he saw.
“I try to blend in,” I replied, not sure if I was misunderstanding him or not. I wanted to believe he meant that as a compliment, but how could he?
“That’s a shame,” he said, then reached for another piece of pizza.
I decided to change the subject and asked him about how he learned to play the guitar. Our conversation became easy then and relaxed. I loved hearing his voice and listening to him laugh.
What I didn’t expect was that Krit would show up every evening like this and eat with me for the next two weeks. But he did. And I liked it. No, I didn’t just like it . . . I planned my day around it.
KRIT
It was becoming a habit. That was all. Nothing more. I was not addicted to her. I wasn’t. Just a nice little distraction. Seeing Blythe in the evenings before I left for my gigs was a way to have a moment to just be me. Blythe didn’t require me to be anything else.
Last night she had actually rolled her eyes at one of my jokes and thrown her napkin at me. It had taken every ounce of strength I had to stay in my seat and not grab her face and taste those full lips. She wasn’t nervous with me anymore. She smiled at me and let me in when I knocked on her door.
Somehow she had become my level ground. The place I could go to find myself before I went out and entertained everyone. She didn’t hang on me and beg me for anything. It was easy with Blythe.
Or at least I kept telling myself that.