Zodiac Academy Fated Throne - Caroline Peckham Page 0,151

Lionel. I hated that so many of the people I cared about were at risk all the time. Whenever Tory or Darius had to go to him, I wanted to scream. And now Darius had been hurt and it wasn’t like it was the first time either. He probably didn’t even tell me about half the times his father laid into him. And though Tory still hadn’t spoken to me about exactly what Lionel had done to her, I’d gleaned enough from the haunted look in her eyes to know it was something terrible. It awoke a monster in me that needed cold, hard vengeance. And I wouldn’t rest until I got it.

I kept my gaze on the swimming pool beyond the tall windows, the moonlight rippling across its surface as I wrestled with my demons.

Silence hung between us for so long that I swear I could hear every drop of water filtering through the coffee grains.

Orion finally walked over to me, handing me a mug with a raincloud on it and standing far too close for me to be able to think straight.

“Are you going to sit down or continue to perch there like a constipated owl?” he asked dryly and my lips dared to twitch.

“T’wit-twoo,” I made an owl sound as my answer and he pressed his tongue into his cheek before walking away to stare out the window.

I cupped the coffee mug between my hands, casting a little ice on my palms to cool it down before taking a sip.

A breeze howled against the summerhouse and rattled the windows while I gazed at Orion’s back before my eyes slipped down to his ass again. For fuck’s sake.

“Can I ask you something?” Orion asked and I ripped my eyes away from his butt.

“You just did,” I pointed out.

He glanced over his shoulder at me with one of his professor looks and I suddenly felt far hotter than the coffee in my mug. Not that he was going to have any idea of how much he was affecting me. I knew how to keep my emotions on lockdown these days. And it wasn’t just that, I could handle them better too. He might have destroyed me when he ruined us, but he’d made me stronger as well. I guessed sometimes you had to watch your walls crack and crumble so you could figure out how to build a better kingdom.

I rolled my eyes and shrugged. “Go on then.”

He turned back to face the window, taking a long sip of his coffee before he spoke. “Are you always going to hate me?”

My chest cleaved apart and I let the silence stretch as I bit my tongue on all the things I wanted to say in response to that. I wish I could hate you, but I feel something far worse than that. A love that won’t die for the man who broke me.

He turned to me again just as the clouds drew over the moon outside and a rumble of thunder sounded in this distance, the storm drawing in. My heart missed a full beat and I tried to push down my emotions before he caught a glimpse of them.

“I don’t hate you, Lance,” I admitted.

He was cast in shadow so I couldn’t see his expression in response to that, but he started moving closer again, his steps slow and deliberate in that way of his that suggested he was always one moment away from becoming a bloodthirsty predator.

“And why not?” he asked, his tone deadly like I was angering him. Did he want me to hate him?

I considered giving some bullshit answer that meant nothing, but I found I didn’t want to. I’d had a thousand conversations in my head with Orion since he’d gone to prison. Conversations I’d been owed. Explanations I’d been denied. If he wanted my truth then fine, because maybe that meant I’d get his in return. And maybe I might finally get some damn closure. Because no matter how hard I’d tried to move on from him, it felt like I hadn’t moved a single inch away from wanting him. I guessed the promise I’d made to him really had meant something to me, unlike it had for him.

“I don’t hate you because I know what you did wasn’t spiteful. Unless I’ve got you all wrong, I assume you didn’t throw yourself into Darkmore as an easy way out of our relationship.” The joke came out kind of bitter, and I couldn’t say I