Zodiac Academy Fated Throne - Caroline Peckham Page 0,128

couldn't lean into them too hard because if I let myself forget to feel anything again, I'd practically be back where I started.

The K.U.N.T.s all started laughing behind me as Mildred began to reveal more details of her story and I pushed my way into the bathroom, not stopping until I was inside one of the stalls.

Shadows flickered behind my eyelids as I danced along the line of falling into them and I called on my Phoenix to help me push them back.

I needed to get a hold of myself and make it through the rest of the week amongst these people. Gabriel had told me that I’d be able to help us work against Lionel if I could keep my poker face in place, so I just had to focus on that. I wanted to get revenge on the man who had done this to me, and I was in the perfect position to help orchestrate that. I just had to keep my head in the game.

Besides, I had plenty of practice being an asshole. I could do that. I just needed to keep my emotions in check and my face blank. If Gabriel believed this was the best thing I could do to help us in our fight against Lionel right now then I'd do it. I trusted him. I just had to be careful with the shadows, make sure they didn't drive themselves into me too deeply again and try not to give into them when I didn't have to.

But as Mildred’s words echoed in my ears and my blood sang with the desire to march back out there and punish her for them, I found myself sinking into the dark again. The shadows were familiar now, comforting and calling me back to them with the promise of oblivion.

Maybe a few minutes wouldn’t hurt. I could just let them have me for a little while, wipe away this pain, take away my fear…

My Atlas buzzed in my pocket and I flinched at the interruption to my emotional meltdown, pulling it out with shaking fingers and frowning at the name on the ID.

Darius:

What are you wearing?

For a moment I couldn't understand why he was asking me that - he'd literally seen me ten minutes ago and knew I was in my academy uniform. But then the twisted fog of my thoughts lifted a little, reminding me that we used to message each other a lot before Lionel took me. And his strange question was actually our own little greeting to each other which didn't require a direct answer. It was just an opener.

I chewed on my lip as my gaze moved back and forth over the words and the frantic racing of my heart began to slow a bit.

I wanted to reply, but a shiver of fear moved along my spine at the idea too and I frowned as I found myself unable to form the words I needed to say to him.

But that little message was exactly what I’d needed to drag me out of the shadows and help me see things clearly. I couldn’t dive into them now. I had to keep my head clear enough to remain myself. Mildred Canopus and the rest of the K.U.N.T.s would get their comeuppance one day soon, but in the meantime, I had to focus on playing the part I’d been forced into. We could use my position close to Lionel and Clara to our advantage and I needed to keep my attention fixed on that goal.

The door banged open outside my toilet stall and I drew in a shuddering breath as I fought my emotions back into line and unlocked the door.

I stepped out and came face to face with Xavier whose mouth dropped open as he spotted me, colour rising to his cheeks as he looked around the restroom in horror.

“Ah shit, am I in the ladies?” he groaned and I couldn’t help the laugh that slipped from my lips even as I fought back the urge to cry.

Fuck, I really needed to lock my shit down or I was going to ruin this plan before it even started.

“Are you…okay now, Tory?” he asked hesitantly, seeming to notice I was on the edge of some kind of brain malfunction and I guessed Darius had filled him in on the whole busting me out of the shadows situation.

I glanced at the door and flicked my fingers to cast air magic against it to keep it closed then threw