enough to fill the role of… what? The girlfriend of Zenith’s drummer? Having never pictured herself as such a character, she backed up and vanished just before they walked off stage and disappeared in their cars to go home.
“Well, I felt weird.”
“Weird? Why?”
“As the drummer, you became a rock star up there. It was awesome. Truly awesome to watch it happen. I didn’t lie. You were incredible. But you were meant to do this. Permanently. For years in the future. I am not that girl. You know, the one who dates musicians and constantly trails behind them like a lost puppy. I mean, my job is to place musicians. I don’t date them. And you heard my parents’ take on dating them. That must have seeped into me. And I was confused.”
“Confused?”
“Well, what are we? What am I to you nowadays?”
His gaze darted around.
Her doubts seized her thoughts. “No. Don’t answer that. I didn’t mean to ask it. I felt weird and self-conscious and like I wasn’t enough for once. And I’m not used to thinking of myself like that. Not being good enough, or pretty enough, or interesting enough in another person’s judgment. And I’m not perfect. I know that. I have so many faults. I’m too opinionated and vocal in my criticism. I’m rigid and need to be more understanding and flexible. Being somewhat decent-looking, I’ve never felt insecure about it, but that night, I worried how could I ever compete if it came right down to it? Not with all those young groupies. And that pissed me off. All the self-doubt I never knew before surfaced. And suddenly feeling like that? No. Not my future. Being a wuss and worried about other women? No. I—”
His mouth unexpectedly seized hers and he wrapped his hands around her biceps as he tugged her closer and tighter to his body. He covered her lips with his and his tongue plundered hers as he kissed her hard and long. Her knees buckled and she wilted fully into his embrace. When he suddenly released her and placed her onto her feet, she blinked in surprise.
“What was that for?”
“You being afraid.”
Indignantly, she glared at him and fisted her hands. “I was not afraid. I just didn’t feel like I was enough.”
He leaned back and outright laughed. “When was there ever a day when you were not enough? Ever? You are superior to every person I’ve ever met. In every walk of life. You exceed everybody in your intelligence, wit, humor, kindness, and clarity. You’re so well spoken and you always say exactly what you mean.” Then he added with a small grin. “Not to mention your beautiful, hot, little body. So hearing you say that something I did made you doubt yourself? Well, I guess that means I must have put on a spectacular performance.”
She didn’t know if she should hit him or hug him. He was complimenting himself in an annoying, roundabout manner. But when she saw him grinning at her, in a way she never witnessed Ross before, she was glad to see how carefree he appeared. Was he enjoying himself? Was he enjoying her? Right now? He totally was. So much.
“Superior? Is that your code for snobby or bitchy or being a know-it-all?”
He didn’t release her and his gaze was different. Tender? Almost. She swore his eyes rounded and his smile was soft and sweet. “No. Superior as in the best kind of person I’ve ever encountered or dreamed I would have near me. Wanting me. In any kind of way. Knowing who and what you are is epic. I love your confidence and your innate ability to recognize your strengths and faults. Saying that you doubted yourself and wondered if you are enough for me? Shit. I’m always inferior to you and the few times you gave me your attention were the luckiest I felt in my life.”
That was a lot coming from him. Ross never said anything personal. Startled to hear so much all at once, Jody could only stare up at him. “Wow. Not the words I’d expect from the man I first met.”
“No. I think you had an enduring effect on me. See? You even elevated my damn behavior. No one else could ever do that.”
“I don’t elevate it, I draw it out. Difference is: I know that part of you and how you are.”
“See? You insisted it was my responsibility so I have to own it.”
She beamed. “Yes. True. But your performance was amazing.”