Zenith in Love (Zenith Series #5) - Leanne Davis Page 0,57

can’t be, surely you see that.”

“I’m glad you do too.”

She tapped a finger on her mouth. “Jim, what if we went there? Just you and I? What if we walked into there together? Later. After dinner. We’ll be alone and we can take all the time, we—I mean, you, need.”

“How could that help?”

She looked at him and shook her head. “You can be the most intelligent human being in the room… until you’re simply not. It will help because I’m your influencer. Your go-to person. Your significant other.” Your girlfriend, you stupid idiot. But she didn’t voice it like that yet.

He shuddered and she turned fully to him. She reached up and took hold of his glasses. She was surprised when his eyebrows furrowed in dismay as she gently removed them. Then she took his face in her hands and rose up to her knees to set her lips on his lips. Then his cheek, his nose, and the side of one eye. He trembled at her soft kisses and gentle touch. Was no one in his life gentle? She thought so.

He suddenly grabbed her like he always did once he got close to her. She provoked him to relax. He wrapped his arms around her and tightly pulled her against him. She was higher, kneeling on the bed, and he buried his face into her chest. She stared down and smiled. He looked like a little boy grabbing his mother for a hug. His face pressed into the material of her shirt and his breath felt warm. She dropped her hand to the top of his head and started stroking the silky strands of his hair. He gulped a shuddering breath. This could have been the only time she observed his raw vulnerability.

After a while, she said, “It’s getting close to you needing to tell me more about what you call your personal expectations and why seeing me goes against them so much. Why it’s so hard for you. You have to explain it without claiming it’s your job. If you want to continue to see me, you’ll have to start trusting me. Talking to me. Acknowledging me.”

His hands circled her, gripping the material of her shirt in his fists. “Don’t… don’t give up on me. Not yet. I’m trying very hard. I’m… really trying.”

Trying what? She almost shrieked. To talk to her? Accept her as someone he truly wanted? Get used to more sex? Or was he really into self-loathing for it? What exactly? And why couldn’t he just tell her?

A desperate grip pressed her against him, making it real. Like Jim didn’t mean to clutch her so tightly, but right then, she was all that kept him together.

She leaned forward and kissed the top of his head. “I haven’t begun to fight you. Or give up on you. You didn’t choose me because I’m a shy, shrinking violet, Jim Zavarian.”

He took in a deep breath. What? What made him react so passionately to Kayla? Her words? Her tone? The kiss?

“Maybe you and I could go to the church and look around. Let me get acclimated to it again.”

Wow. A concession.

“Good. I think it might help if you face it. And then we’ll talk about Sunday, okay? It’s a few days off yet.”

“I’ll go, sure. Meet you there at say… eight? Bring your guards though.”

She sighed. All business again. “I will.”

He rose and left but she stared after the shut door, feeling confounded. What in the hell just happened? And where should she go from there?

Chapter 9

EVERYTHING JIM DID BORDERED on being wrong. He wasn’t good at relationships, which he demonstrated with Kathy—and now? He really didn’t know how to refer to Kayla but seemed to insert his foot in his mouth every time he opened it. He worried she would leave him for his inept crassness.

But here she was, right now, charging through the church doors, looking for him. Guards trailed her, entering the church and taking their positions at all exits. Jim ignored them. No more mistakes of getting friendly with them. None were like Eric.

He took her hand, surprising her but feeling so grateful for her presence. Her face was pale and tightly drawn and he almost smacked himself in the head for his selfishness. Her nerves regarding this place were just as raw as his. She witnessed the same event. At least the bullets were not aimed at her. Jim shuddered at the feeling it always evoked: helplessness. His breathing and heart rate rapidly