You're the One That I Don't Want - By Alexandra Potter Page 0,91

a moment, as if about to say something, then appears to think better of it and turns back to her spell book.

‘OK, where was I . . .? Oh, yeah . . .“Let the ink dry – don’t blot it. Then wrap a piece of his clothing round a hambone.”’

I stop eating and pull a face. ‘Eugh! Yuck.’

‘Oh, that’s easy. I have them in the freezer,’ she says matter-of-factly.

I look at her in astonishment. ‘I thought you were a vegetarian.’

‘They’re for the dogs,’ she says, getting up and pulling open the freezer door. A little cloud of dry ice appears, and rummaging around, she pulls out a large frozen bone, wrapped in a plastic bag. Jenny and Simon start yapping frantically, thinking they are going to get a treat, but she shoos them away with a ‘It’s not for you. It’s for Lucy, to get rid of the love of her life.’

They bark and start salivating. Memories of stories of people being found in their apartments half eaten by their German shepherds suddenly spring to mind. I make a mental note to keep my bedroom door firmly closed tonight.

‘“Put the hambone in a plastic bag with two black feathers, ravens or crows preferably, add a pinch of one or more of the magical herbs – ash-tree leaves, clover, lovage, lilac, garlic – then take the paper with his name on it, fold it three times and pop that in too. Then tie the end tightly with red string.”’ She looks across at me and frowns. ‘Are you making a list of all these ingredients?’ she says crossly.

‘Um . . .’ Having been totally absorbed in eating the most delicious spring roll, I sheepishly grab a pen and a piece of paper.

‘“Then take thetherhen and cthe bundle outside to a patch of earth, untie it and remove the piece of paper. Light a white candle and burn the piece of paper in its flame while thinking of the name of the person running away from you and saying . . .”’ She pauses and affects a serious voice. ‘“‘Winds of the North, East, South and West, carry these affections to where they’ll be best. Let his heart be open and free, and let his mind be away from me.’”’

‘And that’s it?’ Scribbling furiously, I glance up.

‘No, then you have to bury the hambone.’

‘Gosh, it’s quite complicated, isn’t it?’ I groan. ‘Maybe the restraining order might have been easier.’

‘Oh, and you have to do this at exactly ten o’clock at night.’

‘Why ten o’clock?’

‘Because that’s what the spell says,’ she responds matter-of-factly. Scooping up a mouthful of chow mein with her chopsticks, she chews thoughtfully. ‘There’s one other thing.’

I throw her a strangled look.

‘This spell must be performed during a waning moon.’

There’s a pause as we both glance out of the open window. Mostly all we see is the brick wall with the graffiti, but there’s a tiny sliver of a gap. Through it a crescent-shaped moon glows back at us.

‘It’s waning!’ exclaims Robyn excitedly.

Panic stabs. I suddenly have an awful feeling I’m really going to go through with this.

‘Have you finished?’ Changing the subject, I go to clear away our cartons and chopsticks.

Robyn eyes me. ‘Tomorrow night,’ she says decisively.

‘What about tomorrow night?’ I say, trying to play dumb.

‘That’s when you need to do the spell!’ she gasps, as if it’s perfectly obvious that’s what I should be doing on a Tuesday night in Manhattan.

I look at her for a moment and it’s suddenly like sanity comes flying in through the window and wallops me on the side of the head. ‘I’m not doing it tomorrow night! Or the next night! Or any night!’ I cry, shaking my head as if shaking the sense back into it. ‘I’m not doing any of this hocus-pocus nonsense.’

‘It’s not hocus-pocus,’ says Robyn, looking offended.

‘Whatever,’ I gasp, then take a deep breath. ‘I’m not doing it.’

‘But if you don’t get rid of Nate, you’re never going to make room in your love cup for anyone else,’ she tries to reason.

‘My love cup?’

‘It’s how they describe it in the book I’m reading,’ she says defensively, her cheeks pinking up. ‘It has to be empty before it can be filled up again by anyone else. Like, for example, Adam.’

She raises her eyebrows and now I feel my cheeks pinking up. I’d told her all about Adam at lunchtime. Well, it was more a case of me showing her our email exchange and, her being the loyal good friend