You Know I Need You (You Are Mine #4) - Willow Winters Page 0,46

did you know Dad loved you the way you needed? I just laughed a little writing this. I’m sure he made it obvious. He didn’t hurt you like Evan does to me.

I hope what Evan did doesn’t make you mad. I don’t think he means it. I think he doesn’t know any better and I knew that when I married him.

Everything has settled now, and I know I want more, Mom. I really want someone to love me.

I want them to love me like Evan used to love me.

I don’t know if it’s possible.

I’m going to find someone one day. There’s a lot to do between now and then, but I promise I won’t settle for being alone.

Maybe not now. I don’t know when. I’m not going to use them or compare them to Evan. It’ll take time, but I think eventually I’ll be able to do this.

This baby makes me feel loved and I know I love him or her.

I promise I’ll give him every bit of love I have. A little extra too, lots of kisses from you. I know you’d love to hold him. I’ll hold him extra tight for you. And for Henry. Henry would have loved this baby too.

Chapter 22

Evan

She took off her wedding ring today.

I watched on a tiny-ass security monitor as she slipped it off and held it between her fingers. Miles away with the sins of the city between us, all I could do was watch her stare at it, as if wishing it would answer some unspoken question for her.

I hold my breath as I quietly open the door.

Kat didn’t change the locks like she threatened to do, but that wouldn’t have stopped me anyway.

This is the point that I’ve truly gone crazy and I know it. She’s set boundaries and I don’t give a shit about them. It’s the first time in my life that’s happened, but losing the woman you love will do that to a man. Watching her walk away when you know she loves you and you love her; it’s a torture that’s immeasurable and the destruction it leaves is irrefutable.

One slow step in, and not the faintest of sounds. The front door to the townhouse closes behind me softly. She’ll forgive me one day. I’ll hate myself forever if I stayed away.

Maybe I should have called, maybe I should have announced myself, but it’s my home. She’s my wife and this is where I belong.

I can accept that now. If I can keep secrets, so can Kat. I swallow thickly, closing my eyes and hating myself as I lock the front door. She better be able to.

I’m a desperate man. If anything happens to her, I’ll end it. I already know that. But I’m so fucking weak that I’m risking it. If only she can keep a secret, we’ll be all right.

My head whips around to the sound of the microwave beeping in the kitchen.

Beep, beep, beep followed by the click of the microwave being opened and a soft hum of satisfaction.

Kat. My love.

She’s only a room away, and knowing what I’m about to do makes my heart race as I find it hard to swallow.

My body doesn’t wait for me. My feet move on their own, pushing me closer to her. I need to see her, even if she doesn’t see me. I can’t explain why it needs to be in person.

The only light in the townhouse that’s on is the kitchen light. It’s early morning and I wasn’t planning on her being awake.

Maybe the fact she’s awake is a sign. A sign that I can’t be a coward any longer.

That’s what a man who waits in the shadows is. That’s what a man who hurts his wife is. A fucking coward.

Stalking into the kitchen, I expect her to see me, but her back is turned as she stirs something in a bowl then slips it into the microwave, still humming something. It takes me a moment to realize it’s a lullaby.

In nothing but a thin cotton sleep shirt, she tempts me.

Fuck, I’ve missed this view. When she raises her arms, the T-shirt she has on slips up past her thighs and gives me the smallest peek of her cheeks.

I almost groan from primal deprivation. It feels like forever since I’ve held her, laid her in bed and enjoyed her in every way possible.

“Kat.” I say her name softly as the microwave starts and she whips around, backing into the cabinets with her hand on