You Know I Need You (You Are Mine #4) - Willow Winters Page 0,13
get me, they’ll come for her.
But only if they know we’re still together. Right now, no one does.
I love Kat too much.
I almost leave a note after going through my dresser drawer. There was nothing in there to take, but I made sure nothing was left behind or planted. The first thing I need to do is have a security system installed. This shit won’t happen again and that’s how I was going to start the note.
I wanted to write one for Kat saying goodbye and that I’ll be back, then leave before she wakes.
She deserves to know why I’m leaving. Only for a little while. Only until I know she’s safe.
“The doctor’s appointment is at one I think,” Kat says sleepily and I turn to face her slowly, my body stiff. My eyes burn from lack of sleep, but I don’t care.
I welcome the pain.
“You’re finally awake,” I answer her and prepare myself for what I have to do.
The world thinks we’ve broken up. And it has to stay that way.
“You’ve been up long?” she asks and then yawns. There’s a slight radiance to her. Her hair forms a messy halo on the pillow and a delicate simper is on her lips.
“Kat.” I say her name and swallow my words.
I’ve been thinking about them all morning, the images of the nightmare feeling more and more real. Every possibility of what could happen has been running on a loop in my mind.
“I have to tell you something.” I stare at the dresser across the room. I look in the mirror but I can’t see our reflection, only the closed door to the bedroom.
“It’s only for a short time, but I have to go do something.”
“What do you mean?” she asks, the sweetness she had for me vanishing far too quickly as she sits upright. She reaches out to me, her soft, small hand gripping my shoulder.
“I mean I don’t think I can go to the appointment today.”
Her expression falls and she visibly retreats, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping the comforter tightly around her.
“Why not?” she asks with a little heat in her words. With every second that passes, I can see her getting angrier. “What’s more important?”
“I don’t think we should be seen in public together,” I tell her and swallow the painful lump in my throat. No one knows we’re together or that she’s pregnant. “This has to stay a secret.”
“Are you serious?”
“Kat, I have to take care of some things.”
“Bullshit! What about us?” she says and her voice cracks. “What about taking care of us?” She motions between us.
“I am,” I tell her and my words come out strangled, shattering the delicate balance that was here only a moment ago.
“If you walk through that door, you’re not coming back.” Kat’s voice shakes as she speaks. Her eyes are wide and the grief I feel is reflected in them. “You can’t keep doing this to me. I can’t keep …” she trails off and hiccups, on the verge of tears.
“It’s only for a short while,” I tell her to reassure her.
“I don’t understand.” Kat shakes her head as if she thinks I’m crazy. As if what I’m saying is incomprehensible and maybe it is, but it’s okay. The less she knows, the safer she is. That’s the only thing that matters.
“I have something I need to finish.”
“You need to stop this, Evan. Please. I’m ready to move forward. We have a baby coming. Our baby. We can do this, but you can’t keep going backward.”
God, I wish she knew.
I could try to outrun it, but not with her by my side. I’ll fight it and come back to her. I just need her to have faith. I know she will. The last thought is what moves me to put space between us.
“Just believe me when I say I love you, but I can’t be with you right now.”
A silent sob wracks through her body. “Stop it! Stop it, Evan. Please! I don’t care what it is, just leave it behind and stay with me. Please, I’m begging you.”
“I’m so sorry,” I tell her and hate that I’m causing her pain.
“Why are you doing this?” she whispers. “I can’t believe … I can’t …”
“I love you, Kat, but I can’t do this right now.” The words come out as if I’m ending it with her, and that’s when I realize it’s what I have to do.