You Know I Love You (You Are Mine #3) - Willow Winters Page 0,61

the crook of my neck. I’ve never seen him so weak. So desperate for mercy.

I’ve never wanted to forgive so badly in my life, but it’s not forgiveness that I need. It’s a different life that I need moving forward and I won’t get that with Evan.

“I’m sorry.” My lips move but the words aren’t audible, and I have to say it again.

His fingers dig into me, holding me closer and tighter, as if the moment he loosens them, I’ll leave his grasp forever.

“I’m sorry, but it’s what I want,” I tell him and I’ve never heard such a horrible lie in my life. But he nods his head, pulling away slightly although still refusing to let go.

“It’s what I deserve,” he says beneath his breath. His eyes are glossy and his breathing slower as he looks away from me, still holding on but trying to gather the strength to say something. I don’t trust myself to speak. So I just wait, praying for this moment to be over. Praying for something better to come once this has all left me. But how? I have no idea. I’ve never felt so dead inside.

“One last time. Please, just once more. I love you, Kat. I swear I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. And maybe it’s not enough to keep you, but for tonight?”

Again I don’t trust myself to speak. I’m not sure what words would pass through my lips. But I know what I want and I lean forward to take it, spearing my fingers through his hair and pressing my lips to his. It’s only when I feel the wetness against our lips that I realize I was crying.

I let him hold me, and I try my best to remember every detail.

The way he smells, masculine like fresh pine and dew.

The way his heart beats just a bit faster than mine as I rest my palm against his hard chest.

I try to remember everything. I pray that I will, because even though he said he can make it right, I know he can’t. I know that time will aid in the growing distance between us. I know we’re leading two different lives.

I know I need more, and that I deserve someone who won’t hide things from me and make me feel like I’ve lost myself.

So I need to remember this, because I want it to be the last time.

Not for him, not for us, but for me.

Evan

Don’t throw me away, don’t tell me you’re through.

Don’t stop loving me, I can’t live without you.

That ring on your finger, that makes you my wife.

You’re my everything, my love and my life.

I didn’t mean it when I said one last time. It’s the same way an addict is desperate for more and will say anything to get it. All I have to do is be next to her when she needs a single thing. Anything. Just one small crack in her armor. At least that’s what I keep hoping for.

It’s what’s keeping me from dissolving into the nothingness I feel in my hollow chest.

I wonder if she’ll get over me before that time comes. If the few years we had together was enough to make her love me even when she doesn’t want to. That’s all I keep thinking about as I stare at her sleeping form. There’s only a thin sheet over her gorgeous body, hiding it from me. Her back is toward me as she lies on her side, her hair fanned out along the pillow. I’ve been awake for hours; I’m not even sure I slept at all.

It feels like it’s over, but that can’t be true. I can’t let her go this easily and walk away. But somehow it doesn’t feel like letting her go. It feels like I don’t have her anymore. Like I don’t even have the option to keep her anymore.

A sudden buzz from my phone vibrating on the nightstand strips my thoughts from me and causes Kat to stir next to me.

I keep my eyes on her as I reach for it. She slowly turns to look over her shoulder and then looks away, pulling the sheet tighter around her. Closing herself off from me.

There’s a heaviness on my chest as I let it sink in that she doesn’t belong to me anymore. The bed dips as Kat pulls the sheet with her and walks quietly to the bathroom.

I would think my life couldn’t get any lower than this, but the text from