You Know I Love You (You Are Mine #3) - Willow Winters Page 0,35
not that he lied … he’s just …” Sue says softly and then clears her throat to add with a touch of sympathy, “I keep letting my shitty experience color my opinion. Sorry,” she says, looking me in the eyes. The sincerity there kills me.
“It’s fine. It’s called experience.”
“So you’re indecisive, and that makes sense. You’re married. You love him. But you’re hurt.” Maddie cuts through all the silence and unease like it’s so simple and easy to comprehend. But it’s not. There’s a raging war of emotions inside of me. I don’t know that I can trust my husband, and that alone is enough to end it and what pushed me to kick him out this morning.
Rather than confess about my lack of trust, I offer a partial truth. “I slept with him last night and then kicked him out this morning.” I shake my head realizing how awful that sounds, how crazy it seems.
“Sounds like a divorce to me,” Sue says and then fills her glass again. “I did it for years, Kat. Years of back and forth. Forgiving but not forgetting.” Her slender fingers play on the stem of the glass. “Wish I had those years back.”
The need to defend Evan overrides my common sense. “I don’t know what I did that pushed him away.” Even as I say the words, I know that’s not true. I let distance grow between us. I ignored him in favor of my career.
“Nothing, it’s not you. It’s not your fault.” Sue’s words are hard, with no negotiation allowed. So I don’t correct her.
Maddie adds in, ever comforting, “It’s not your fault in the least. Don’t let him make you feel that way.”
They don’t understand. They just don’t get it.
“What if—”
Sue cuts me off to say, “If you want to sleep with him, do it. Want to kick him out, do it. Want to hurl something at his head … maybe don’t because that’s assault.” Her joke forces a bark of a laugh from me and a snicker from Jules. Her glass setting down on the counter offers a clink and she adds, “Yes please, for the love of all things holy don’t make us come bail you out.”
“You would, though,” I say and cock a brow, knowing any of the three of these women would bail me out in a heartbeat.
“It’s whatever you want,” Maddie continues and Jules and Sue both nod. “You can be friends with benefits if that’s what you want, fuck buddies, you can use him for revenge sex. I don’t think any of us have any answers other than we’re here for you.” She side-eyes Sue and adds, “Although Sue is cockblocking our girls’ trip.”
“Oh my Lord, someone … get her,” Sue groans and Jules and I laugh while Maddie purses her lips and tosses a balled-up bit of paper at Sue’s back. It doesn’t reach, but the comic relief helps to calm all the nerves I’ve been feeling. Most of them, anyway. There’s still a little flutter in the pit of my stomach.
“We’ll plan a girls’ trip,” Jules states as if it’s a fact. “It just might be a bit, but we will make this happen and it’ll be great for you to get out.”
“I think it will be fun, and I’ll figure out how to make it work,” Sue says all the while staring at Maddie who finally smiles.
“Yes. Girls’ trip and fuck or dump whomever we want … Except Jules. Because she might be pregnant.”
I nearly choke on my wine at that thought.
Evan
I tried it. I swear I tried to give her space.
Kat says that’s what she needs, but I know it’s not. This plan of hers isn’t what she needs and it’s sure as hell not what I want.
She needs me. Period. She needs me to be there and that’s where I’ve failed. Not just in the last few weeks. For years, I chose a lifestyle that forced us apart.
I can fix this, but not by running to Pops and leaving her all alone with nothing but this city whispering in her ear.
My arm stiffens as I slide the key into the lock to our townhouse. My heart doesn’t beat until it turns, proving she didn’t change the locks. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was still holding and push it open. I’m prepared with what I need to say. Prepared to hold my ground and not take no for an answer.