My focus zeroes in on the hotel part of this equation—namely, if we’d share a room. Would he request one bed or two? A bolt of excitement strikes, but it all goes dark when I remember: “I have an interview Saturday morning.”
“Oh, right, at the campground.”
I’m still not sure what the position entails. I’m trying to avoid cubicles or small office settings, and the idea of being paid to walk along nature trails holds a certain appeal. Our house in the woods has converted me into Bear Grylls.
“Well.” I pick at the thread until it unravels another inch. I can’t hide my disappointment.
Nicholas seems disappointed, too, but the ghost of a smile lifts his cheek and the skin around his eyes crinkles. “Going to miss me?”
“Not even,” I mumble. It convinces no one. To distract from the sudden gloom that’s fallen over us I say, “So, will you be making financial decisions on your parents’ behalf, then? You can invest their money for them? There’s a GoFundMe to make a movie about Pizza Rat, called Ratachewy. You should look into that.”
He laughs. “Nah, I don’t get to do whatever I want with their money. I’ll mostly be listening and taking notes. Then I’ll report back to Mom and she’ll decide what she wants to do.”
I don’t bother asking why Deborah can’t just go herself. The purpose of Deborah bearing children was so that she’d have minions obligated to do her bidding.
“It’s only two days,” he says gently. “You’ll have the house to yourself. You can draw handlebar mustaches on all my pictures and jump on the bed naked.”
“Sounds like my average day.”
Once, this would have been a dream come true. No Nicholas! I would have been rejoicing. It’s such a bummer that now I have to miss his stupid, adorable face when he’s gone.
I set my alarm on Saturday morning so that I wake up early enough to see Nicholas off. It’s insane that they’ve scheduled the meeting for ten a.m. when he has to drive to get there. It’s as dark as outer space and way too cold to be traveling. His engine and tires might blow up. On top of that, he’s leaving right when I’m starting to come down with the stomach flu. There’s a rising lump in my throat when I watch him tie his shoelaces, a leather bag with a change of clothes and overnight essentials at his feet.
“I don’t feel well,” I mutter.
He turns his head, scanning me from top to bottom. “What’s wrong?”
“Stomachache. I feel like I’m going to be sick. I’m all sweaty and uncomfortable.” I’m also pacing. For something to do, I unzip his bag and paw through his stuff. I dab some of his cologne on my wrists and rub them together, then bring the scent to my nose to inhale slowly. It settles my nausea a little. Then I raise my eyes to meet Nicholas’s probing ones and my heart stutters. “What?”
“Nothing.” There’s a tremor in his voice and he looks away, tying his other shoe. When he stands up, I nearly shout.
“Wait! You can’t leave yet. You haven’t eaten any breakfast.”
“It’s too early for me to be hungry. I’ll grab something on the road later.”
“You want more coffee?” I drift toward the kitchen but he shakes his head, tapping a thermos.
“Got plenty right here.”
Maybe he shouldn’t drink coffee. It’ll get him all wired and he’ll speed. He’ll fly off an overpass and his car will do sixteen rolls in midair. “I’m worried you’re going to fall asleep at the wheel.”
Nicholas chuckles. “I went to bed early, so I’m wide awake. I’ll be all right.”
“What if it starts to snow?”
“I won’t fall asleep even if it starts snowing.” I think I’m amusing him.
I frown. “Nicholas, I’m serious. I did some researching on Cohasset and I wasn’t going to say anything because I didn’t want to spook you, but in August there were three carjackings. Some guy came up to people at a gas station and said their gas cap had fallen off, and when they turned to check he pulled a gun on them.”
He cradles my jaw in his hands. His gaze is molten and he looks almost like he could love me. I think about all the times I almost walked away and it’s terrifying. I would have missed out on this. “Then I won’t get gas in Cohasset.”
I’m pathetic. A helpless newborn kitten. “You can’t leave me here when I’m ill.”