being landlocked in Atlanta, that he would never have moved so far away from the ocean if my career hadn’t kept me here.
I reach for the notepad. I guess now is as good a time as any to bring it up.
“What if I gave you the beach? An even better beach. In Mexico.” Tommy looks confused. “I found this clinic in Tijuana, they have natural cures, things like—”
“No.”
“But—”
“Goddammit, Lexie. Don’t make this harder than it already is.”
The words I want to say are caught in my throat—why can’t he see that’s the opposite of what I’m trying to do?
“I’ve got a patient.”
He turns and goes without kissing me goodbye, leaving me with a sinking feeling that I’m a horrible, selfish person who doesn’t deserve him.
Chapter Nine
CeCe
Earth to CeCe,” Sofia says, putting her lunch tray down at our usual table. “Did you hear me? I said my life is over.”
“Sorry, what?”
Sofia sits down next to me in a huff. “It’s like you’re not even here half the time.”
She isn’t wrong. Since I found out last week, it’s like there’s a dark cloud following me. It’s literally impossible to think of anything other than what’s happening at home, especially when there are reminders everywhere. Anytime someone coughs or even says the word “dad,” my heart drops.
“Hello?” Sofia says again.
“Sorry, what’s going on?”
I stop listening before she even starts to talk, focusing instead on my brown paper lunch bag. Inside, I find a tightly wrapped tinfoil package. I unwrap it slowly, like a present, revealing a sliced baguette with fresh mozzarella, sliced Roma tomatoes, and torn pieces of basil. Well done, Dad. His pairing skills could use some work, considering the bag of Cheetos along with it, but he’s come a long way since I got him watching Food Network with me.
A note falls out of the napkin, surprising me even though I knew there would be one in there somewhere. There always is. I unfold the paper and read his familiar handwriting, this one lyrics from a song by a band he and Mom like.
“If I had wings and I could fly,
Well, I’d still walk with you.”
—Sister Hazel
I fold the note and tuck it in my pocket so I won’t forget to add it to the others in the shoeboxes under my bed. Just a few weeks ago, I was thinking that it might be time to start another box. Now, I’ll be happy if there will be enough notes, enough time, to fill the current one.
“Can you believe it?” Sofia shakes her head.
“No, I can’t,” I say, hoping I can jump back into the conversation without it being obvious I zoned out again. Lauren and Bella have joined our table, so hopefully it will be easier to get by without paying attention—or worse, having to talk about what’s going on with me.
Sofia’s the only one I told about my dad, and I swore her to secrecy. I don’t want my friends acting strange around me; it’s already been weird enough at home. Mom went from being like a sleepwalking stranger to a super-peppy cheerleader overnight, trying to act like everything is going to be okay when we all know it won’t be.
“My dad told me I’m grounded for the rest of the school year,” Sofia says as if it’s the worst thing in the world. It feels like a million years ago that I thought being grounded was the worst thing that could happen to me. I was so stupid.
“Parents suck,” I hear Liam say from behind me. He takes the empty chair next to mine and turns it around before sitting backward in it. “How’s my fair Juliet?”
I can’t help but blush even though I’m pretty sure he’s just acting like he likes me because of the play. A junior like him would never really be interested in a freshman like me.
“Ready for rehearsal tonight?” he asks, smiling that crooked smile.
Tonight’s the night we’re rehearsing the scene with the kiss. I haven’t fully decided if we should just pretend or really go for it like Liam wants to.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I smile and take an awkwardly small bite of my sandwich.
“I hope there isn’t garlic in there,” Liam whispers. He stands up to join his regular table, but before he goes, he gives my glasses a little push back up my nose. I’d been so distracted by his warm breath tickling my ear that I hadn’t noticed they’d fallen.