And I guess I wouldn’t mind knowing what makes people think Maya and I want to kissssssssss. For research purposes. Obviously.
After all, if everyone sees it, maybe there really is something to see?
I tap into the nested comments under I ship these two so hard!!!! There are fifty-eight of them. Fifty-eight people weighing in on the issue with crying emojis and heart eyes and exclamation points. It makes my head spin.
“Jamie, it’s starting!” Maya plops down beside me on my living room couch. Closer than usual. Way closer than usual. “You’re so glued to your phone today.”
I tap out of Instagram fast, shoving my phone in my pocket as The Office’s intro music rises. We’ve been working our way through the end of season two since we got back from canvassing this afternoon.
“‘Conflict Resolution.’ I’m so ready.” Maya presses my arm.
So here’s the thing. I don’t want to read too much into a bunch of Instagram comments from strangers. But maybe it’s not just that. After all, there were two drawn-out Maya hugs today during canvassing, not to mention a double high five after our first voter commitment. And not just any double high five. It was a lingering, finger-lacing double high five. Plus, ever since we got back to my place, there’s been the sitting-with-no-space-between-us-on-the-couch thing . . . and now the arm press! That has to be a deliberate flirtatious gesture, right? So maybe the comments are right. Or maybe Maya’s secretly reading them, and they’re making her braver.
I think they’re making me a little braver.
Maya’s glued to the episode, and I’m doing my best to match her focus. Concentrating on The Office isn’t usually a problem for me. But I can’t stop thinking about the way Maya’s thigh brushed against mine when she tucked her knees up onto the couch. On screen, Jim recounts all the pranks he’s played on Dwight, and Maya winces.
“I have such mixed feelings,” she says. “Like. On one hand, it’s a lot. And some of the stuff he did to Dwight was pretty mean. I don’t think it was harassment, per se, but was it punching down? I don’t know.” She leans in closer to me. “But then again, it’s Jim.”
I sneak a peek at her face. “You’re so starry-eyed right now.”
Also, she’s sitting. So. Close.
She sighs. “How could anyone not be starry-eyed over Jim? He’s like Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Universally swoon-worthy.”
“What’s so great about Jim?”
“Everything! He’s just so cute. It’s his confidence,” Maya says, “and his sense of humor. He’s so comfortable in his skin.”
My stomach sinks.
Jim’s literally nothing like me.
“I can’t believe we’re about to watch ‘Casino Night.’ This is the most romantic episode of any show on television, ever.”
The most romantic episode of any show.
Most romantic.
I swear, sometimes I don’t even know if Maya hears the things she says.
The episode starts, and I can’t shake the feeling that something’s shifted. Like the entire room is holding its breath.
“I always forget about Michael’s two dates,” Maya says, reaching for my hand. “I can barely watch this part. He’s so cringy!”
So that’s happening. Yup. Maya’s holding my hand, and not because either of us are upset. We are literally sitting here. Right now. Holding TV and watching hands.
Watching TV.
And holding hands.
I think my brain is short-circuiting.
She drops my hand, leaning forward, and suddenly she’s a million miles away. Fully absorbed in the television. Probably doesn’t even remember I’m back here.
But when Jim and Pam exchange smiles playing poker, Maya leans back abruptly. “The way they look at each other!”
The way they look at each other. It’s just like the Instagram comment. The way I look at Maya. And how people seem to be rooting for us, in the same way Maya roots for Jim and Pam.
“God, Roy’s so bad for her.” Maya shakes her head. “Good riddance.”
By the time Jim approaches Pam outside, I’m watching Maya more than I’m watching the screen. When Jim opens his mouth to speak, Maya makes a noise so high-pitched, it wakes up Boomer.
“Was that a squeak?”
“Shh.” She swipes my arm, smiling.
“It was cute!”
She wrinkles her nose at me, then turns back to the screen. “Oh my God, he’s about to do it.” She presses her hands to her cheeks.
On screen, Jim tells Pam he’s in love with her. Maya leans her head on my shoulder, sighing.
Her head.
On my shoulder. During a love confession. I’m just—