since you guys have been spending so much time together—”
“Oh my God. Can we not?”
I storm back to my room, yanking my phone from my charger, before collapsing into my desk chair. This is bullshit. Utter bullshit. Mom spends all her time trying to get me to speak up and be more assertive, but the minute I do, she can’t handle it. It’s ridiculous. And then she has the nerve to say I sound like Gabe—
Okay, maybe I do sound like Gabe. A little. But maybe Gabe is right! Not about Fifi—that was gross—but the fact that people only want to support Rossum when it’s convenient? That’s legit. Oh, sure, let’s canvass . . . when we have time. Resist white supremacy—as long as it doesn’t interfere with our super chill weekend. I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’m as guilty as anyone. But at least I’m trying.
And the Maya thing? Mom knows she’s not my girlfriend. Maya doesn’t believe in dating. And even if she did, there’s no way she sees me that way. We’re friends. Canvassing partners, like Nolan said. We’re canvassing friends who sometimes vent to each other about stuff.
The worst part is, I can’t even vent to Maya about this. Hey, Maya, my mom thinks you’re my girlfriend. Bet you’re totally cool with that. I mean, for all I know, Mom’s going around telling people that. People like Alina, which means—yup. Maya probably thinks I think we’re dating. Wow. That’ll be a fun conversation. Can’t wait to find out what it feels like to be unambiguously rejected by the girl I’m completely—
Yeah. Anyway.
A lump settles in my throat, thick and heavy. To think that an hour ago, I was sure I’d never stop smiling.
I open my laptop, blinking fast. I need a distraction. Like the H.B. 28 flyers. I could work on the flyers. Which are hardly a distraction, at least not from Maya.
Then again, nothing is.
By eleven, I’ve tried every font, every color, every layout. I have no idea which ones look good, or if any of them look good. All I know is that Maya hasn’t texted me, Grandma hasn’t knocked, Sophie’s still sleeping, and Mom—
I don’t want to talk to my mom.
I feel like I’m going to explode all over again.
This calls for the group text. I tap into iMessage, fingers flying over my keyboard.
Jamie: I’m so pissed at my mom
sflskjfghlkszjdhfglkjhsdlkj
Drew: whoa. what’s up
Jamie: I swear, I’m so
ARGHGGGGGG
like she’s so dismissive of the stuff I’m doing with H.B. 28
even the Rossum stuff!!!
Drew: huh really? I thought that was her idea
Jamie: It WAS
but apparently I’m supposed to turn all of that off and focus on the bat mitzvah
like I’m incapable of doing both!!
Drew: sorry dude, that sucks!
Felipe: Sorry I’m at work, customers just left, who gets fro yo at eleven??? Okay catching up now
Oh man, Jamie, I’m sorry. Maybe she’s just stressed about the bat mitzvah?
Jamie: she doesn’t have to be so condescending though! She was implying I was only doing it as a way to get closer to maya. She was like, just go on a normal date
Drew: ohhhhhh shit
okay so not gonna lie, we thought the same thing at first BUT
we get that you’re for real with this stuff.
I stare at my laptop screen. So that’s what everyone thinks. All this work—the canvassing, the flyers. It’s all to get closer to Maya.
I mean, do I like seeing Maya? Yes. Is it fun to work on this stuff with her? Yes. Do I have a crush on her? Yes. Okay? But that’s not why I’m doing this. That’s like saying I don’t care—about the campaign, about H.B. 28, about Islamophobia and anti-Semitism and bigotry or anything. And the idea that I would use all of that to somehow trick Maya into falling for me. Like it’s even possible to trick someone into falling for you!
I reread Drew’s text, and—yeah. I need to calm down. Drew’s saying he knows I’m for real now.
So why does it feel like he’s saying the opposite?
Maybe Drew’s not actually the one questioning my sincerity.
I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment, before turning back to the screen.
Drew: though maya is reeeeealllly cute bro
Jamie: that doesn’t mean we’re dating!!
Felipe: You should ask her out
Jamie: that’s not the point!! The point is that my mom totally trivialized my work when she said that!
Drew: okay but also
you should ask her out
Jamie: uh yeah, not doing that.
Felipe: Why not?
Jamie: remember the slowmance!!
Felipe: Hahahahaha, legendary, but Maya actually likes you! You